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YTS.MX
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Welcome to Hazzard County.
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00:00:31,347 --> 00:00:35,017
A little corner of the world where
everyone knows everyone else...
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00:00:35,184 --> 00:00:38,563
... and people are never too busy
to stop and say howdy.
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Shoot, some folks even say this is
where the apple pie was invented.
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00:00:44,068 --> 00:00:49,198
Yep, basically everything down here
moves a little bit slower...
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00:00:49,532 --> 00:00:55,037
... unless, of course,
your last name is Duke.
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Man, the General's in good shape.
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00:01:16,642 --> 00:01:21,689
Bo, it's happy hour at The Boar's Nest,
and we still got two deliveries to make.
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It's all one big happy hour, Luke.
Besides, we're taking a shortcut.
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00:01:45,254 --> 00:01:47,048
Hi, Luke.
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00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:51,511
- I got this one.
- You sure that's a good idea, cuz?
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It's a great idea. Come on.
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Hey, Laurie.
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- You here to make your delivery?
- Well, I was hoping to.
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00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,482
Luke, remember last time.
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Don't worry about it, cuz.
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00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:09,028
It's okay, Bo. Pa ain't here.
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00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:12,240
See, Bo? Pa ain't here.
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00:02:14,117 --> 00:02:16,411
- Hi.
- Hi.
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00:02:18,621 --> 00:02:20,206
Play hard to get, little buddy.
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Listen and learn, General.
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And now, side two
of the Al Unser, Jr. story:
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00:02:38,224 --> 00:02:43,229
No Questions, Only Unsers,
as read by Laurence Fishburne.
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00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:45,481
"I'm too old for this shit."
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00:02:45,648 --> 00:02:48,484
That's what I was thinking
as I turned into the final lap...
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00:02:48,651 --> 00:02:51,195
... running fourth at Talladega.
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00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:54,824
But then it hit me.
Life is like a racetrack.
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00:02:55,032 --> 00:02:57,660
You gotta keep going
round and round.
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00:02:57,827 --> 00:03:01,748
- That is so true.
- Sure, sometimes you crash and burn.
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00:03:01,914 --> 00:03:05,334
But if you don't make the turn,
you ain't never gonna learn.
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00:03:05,752 --> 00:03:10,590
So I gripped the wheel tighter,
checked my gauges, and made my move.
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00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:14,177
Make my move. Give you my move.
Make it, mother...
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00:03:14,385 --> 00:03:16,471
- Jesus Christ!
- Howdy, Bo.
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00:03:16,637 --> 00:03:20,558
Hey, Mr. Pullman.
I nearly shit myself.
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00:03:20,933 --> 00:03:22,894
- How you doing, sir?
- Oh, I'm fine.
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00:03:23,060 --> 00:03:25,897
You ready for that big
Hazzard Rally this weekend?
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00:03:26,063 --> 00:03:29,108
Yeah, I got him all tuned up.
Right, General?
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00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:31,402
How many times
you won that, anyway?
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00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,238
- Four in a row, sir.
- Four in a row.
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00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:38,743
That's good. Billy Prickett won it four
in a row, and look what he's doing today.
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00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:41,829
- Hey, you been hunting?
- Yes, sir.
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00:03:41,996 --> 00:03:44,540
Yeah, I been using
those new whammy shells.
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00:03:44,707 --> 00:03:48,044
They scatter less for when you really
wanna blow a hole in something.
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00:03:50,922 --> 00:03:53,591
- Cool. Guns.
- Yeah.
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00:03:55,134 --> 00:03:57,678
Are you delivering
all by yourself today?
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00:03:57,845 --> 00:03:59,847
Oh, no. I never travel alone, sir.
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00:04:00,014 --> 00:04:02,391
I like to think I travel
with the man upstairs.
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00:04:03,643 --> 00:04:05,103
You know, Jesus.
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00:04:06,771 --> 00:04:09,315
You know, I like that attitude.
52
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,776
I'm gonna look around
and find a boy like you...
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00:04:11,984 --> 00:04:14,487
...to date my daughter,
Laurie, pretty soon.
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00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:17,657
Because she's getting curious
about boys, you know.
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00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:19,117
Yeah.
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00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,994
Oh, you're talking about sex, right?
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00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:25,957
I just wanna keep that
sorry cousin of yours away from her.
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00:04:26,124 --> 00:04:29,794
The way he looks at her galls me.
You know what I mean?
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00:04:31,254 --> 00:04:33,714
You get back here right now,
you son of a bitch.
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00:04:33,881 --> 00:04:35,591
Get back here.
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00:04:35,758 --> 00:04:38,136
Luke! Luke!
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00:04:38,302 --> 00:04:41,472
- Why you running, you chickenshit?
- Goddamn Dukes.
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00:04:41,639 --> 00:04:43,266
You get the hell off my sister.
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00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:45,226
- Jimmy!
- Oh, shit.
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00:04:45,393 --> 00:04:48,354
Damn you, Luke!
You get back in the house!
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00:04:48,521 --> 00:04:50,898
- Go, Bo, go!
- Luke, wait!
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00:04:51,065 --> 00:04:53,693
- Put on a shirt!
- Come on, come on, come on.
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00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,820
I forgot about the brother. Go!
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00:05:00,324 --> 00:05:01,784
So happy hour?
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00:05:01,993 --> 00:05:04,829
- You're gonna get us shot someday.
- Not today.
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00:05:04,996 --> 00:05:07,498
Not with you driving the getaway car.
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00:05:09,876 --> 00:05:12,336
- So how was it?
- It's never bad.
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00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:17,300
Son of a bitch.
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00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,762
Here, load up with these
whammy shells.
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00:05:20,928 --> 00:05:23,222
They'll blow a hole through
an elephant's ass.
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00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,516
Look out.
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00:05:30,021 --> 00:05:32,315
Oh, goddamn it!
You're gonna replace that.
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00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:36,360
- What's he using?
- You don't wanna know.
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00:05:36,569 --> 00:05:39,155
Dadgum it,
you just assassinated a tree.
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00:05:39,322 --> 00:05:40,865
Got a big kick to it.
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00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,951
Don't you worry. They can't touch
the General. Come on, boy.
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00:05:51,375 --> 00:05:53,211
You missed, Jimmy!
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00:05:53,377 --> 00:05:57,590
Can't you shoot straight? Don't point
that thing at me, you chucklehead.
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00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:00,384
Don't call me a chucklehead.
I ain't a chucklehead.
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00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,596
Hey! Get that gun out of the wheel!
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00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:06,641
What are you doing? Hey.
Hey. What the hell?
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00:06:07,058 --> 00:06:08,726
- Goddamn it.
- I'm sorry, Daddy.
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00:06:08,893 --> 00:06:10,770
Let's go after them.
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00:06:12,688 --> 00:06:15,900
- Bo, did you see that sign?
- I can read!
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00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,194
This is how you planned
on losing them?
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00:06:18,361 --> 00:06:19,862
You ain't scared, are you?
92
00:06:20,029 --> 00:06:23,074
Scared? Hell, no. I just don't
wanna hear it from Uncle Jesse...
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00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:25,493
...when you break his bottles of shine.
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00:06:25,660 --> 00:06:28,287
I bet you the old phone book
I don't break a bottle.
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00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,248
Phone book it is.
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00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:34,085
Daddy, you get me close,
and I'll put a bullet in this son of a bitch.
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00:06:36,838 --> 00:06:39,132
Goddamn it, Jimmy!
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00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:42,844
Who says I can't shoot? Daddy? Daddy!
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00:07:03,281 --> 00:07:06,159
Bo and Luke Duke.
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00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:08,745
Cousins closer than brothers.
101
00:07:08,911 --> 00:07:11,122
Both big-hearted, strong-willed...
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00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:14,709
... and restless as a couple of cats
thrown into a swimming hole.
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00:07:41,778 --> 00:07:43,237
Nice driving, cuz.
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00:07:47,325 --> 00:07:48,785
What?
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00:07:52,371 --> 00:07:55,792
- I won the bet, you son of a bitch.
- Oh, come on.
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00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,961
I didn't break any bottles,
so I won the bet.
107
00:08:03,174 --> 00:08:06,302
- I was just joking about the bet.
- Oh, you were joking?
108
00:08:06,469 --> 00:08:08,513
- Yeah.
- Still getting the phone book, though.
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00:08:08,721 --> 00:08:12,558
- Come on, double or nothing.
- Nope. Time to pay your debt, buddy.
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00:08:13,726 --> 00:08:15,812
Which side you want,
right side or left?
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00:08:17,522 --> 00:08:19,565
Right.
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00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:21,484
Did I hear one of your teeth break?
113
00:08:21,651 --> 00:08:24,695
I don't remember the Hazzard
phone book being that thick.
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00:08:24,946 --> 00:08:27,156
This is Atlanta.
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00:08:37,208 --> 00:08:41,337
Bet was over. I can't believe that
happened. I mean, the bet was over.
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00:08:41,504 --> 00:08:43,381
- What are you doing?
- Where you want it?
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00:08:44,799 --> 00:08:47,260
- Oh, man.
- Where you want it?
118
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:48,845
Left.
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00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,598
That was a good one.
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00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:59,731
Right in the ball sack. God.
121
00:09:00,857 --> 00:09:03,401
In case of dehydration.
122
00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,409
That'll put lead in your pencil.
123
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:19,125
- Man, I'm already tired of walking.
- You could use a little exercise.
124
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:21,461
Them jeans of yours
look tighter than Daisy's.
125
00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:25,047
Oh, yeah? I bet you a cold beer
I could beat you to The Boar's Nest.
126
00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:27,216
That's five miles.
127
00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:38,978
I'm coming! I'm coming!
128
00:09:44,275 --> 00:09:45,943
Face!
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00:09:51,866 --> 00:09:53,826
He came back.
130
00:09:56,037 --> 00:09:58,081
What's Billy Prickett doing here?
131
00:09:58,247 --> 00:10:00,333
Well, it looks like he's here
for the race.
132
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:06,422
Man, those tires alone are worth
more than the General Lee.
133
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:11,135
My, oh, my. Look at that.
Billy Prickett's car, huh?
134
00:10:11,552 --> 00:10:13,721
What's new
in law enforcement, Enos?
135
00:10:13,888 --> 00:10:17,600
- They make you lieutenant yet?
- Hell, you know that'll never happen.
136
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,603
Maybe one of these days you'll
wise up and come work for us.
137
00:10:20,770 --> 00:10:22,563
We could use a man like you.
138
00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:26,401
I don't know. I don't think it's a good
time to be in the moonshine business.
139
00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:29,612
Moonshine business?
We ain't in the moonshining business.
140
00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:36,119
But if someone were in the moonshining
business, why would it be a bad time?
141
00:10:36,285 --> 00:10:39,497
Now, Luke, you know I can't say
anything. Boss Hogg'll tan my hide.
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00:10:39,664 --> 00:10:41,124
He spanks you?
143
00:10:41,499 --> 00:10:43,835
Hey, Dil, what do you want?
We just ordered.
144
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:46,921
By the looks of this place,
I'll take two bottles of Pepto...
145
00:10:47,088 --> 00:10:49,507
...and a shot of penicillin, right?
146
00:10:59,434 --> 00:11:01,394
Jesus, mother of Mary.
147
00:11:04,439 --> 00:11:06,941
Look away, man.
Trust me, look away.
148
00:11:07,108 --> 00:11:09,569
Don't worry about it.
I won't hurt her.
149
00:11:09,736 --> 00:11:13,364
There ain't nobody in this bar
concerned about you hurting her.
150
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,283
All right, all right.
151
00:11:19,996 --> 00:11:22,165
Y'all ready to order?
152
00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:27,211
You better be reading
my nametag, friend.
153
00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:31,799
I am, I am. I noticed
your initials were double D.
154
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:36,596
- Oh, sweet Jesus.
- I'll give you one more chance.
155
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:39,891
You wanna order, or you wanna sit
around and make stupid jokes?
156
00:11:40,057 --> 00:11:42,351
Ain't gotta get fussy.
We're having a good time.
157
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:45,396
I'll tell you what, I'll order.
We don't want no problems.
158
00:11:45,563 --> 00:11:47,774
Let's see...
159
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:50,610
Do those legs come over easy?
160
00:11:50,902 --> 00:11:52,820
Oh, my God.
161
00:11:55,490 --> 00:11:58,993
- How about the special, sir?
- Dil Driscoll!
162
00:11:59,243 --> 00:12:02,914
You stop bothering that nice girl
and pick on somebody your own size.
163
00:12:03,122 --> 00:12:05,249
- Billy Prickett.
- Hey, it's Billy Prickett!
164
00:12:06,626 --> 00:12:08,294
- Welcome home, boy.
- You old mule.
165
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:11,214
Hey.
166
00:12:13,132 --> 00:12:15,218
Why don't you cool off, Dil?
167
00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:19,972
- Come on, boy. Let's get out of here.
- My, my, my.
168
00:12:20,139 --> 00:12:24,727
Holy hell, Luke. There he is, right there.
That's Billy Prickett.
169
00:12:24,894 --> 00:12:26,437
Should I buy him a drink?
170
00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:29,232
Maybe you should buy him
flowers and chocolates.
171
00:12:29,399 --> 00:12:33,528
Give me a Miller.
Make it a Löwenbräu.
172
00:12:34,695 --> 00:12:36,697
How you doing?
173
00:12:36,864 --> 00:12:40,034
Hey, Billy Prickett.
Welcome back to Hazzard.
174
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:45,581
See, boys, I told you all the
waitresses in this place was dog ugly.
175
00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:49,710
- Man.
- I'm only fooling with you.
176
00:12:49,877 --> 00:12:51,462
Fellas, this is Bo Duke.
177
00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:55,675
Bo is looking to break my Hazzard Rally
record. What is it now, four in a row?
178
00:12:56,008 --> 00:12:57,760
Yeah, well...
179
00:12:57,927 --> 00:13:04,016
All streaks must come to an end, Bo.
I'm calling this one "the drive for five."
180
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:07,937
- Well, I'm looking forward to the race.
- Hey, Dil!
181
00:13:08,104 --> 00:13:10,356
This is the boy
who's trying to break my record.
182
00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:13,776
Oh, really? I'm Dil Driscoll, crew chief.
183
00:13:13,943 --> 00:13:15,361
- Bo-Bo, have a seat.
- Really?
184
00:13:17,447 --> 00:13:20,491
So, Billy, what's it like
being in the circuit?
185
00:13:20,658 --> 00:13:22,660
- Well...
- Hey, Billy, join me for a drink?
186
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,454
Oh, well, you sweet little thing.
187
00:13:24,620 --> 00:13:27,790
Fellas, I'm awfully thirsty
all of a sudden.
188
00:13:27,957 --> 00:13:30,376
Bo-Bo, may the best man win.
189
00:13:31,753 --> 00:13:33,254
John, another round!
190
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:37,341
So, Bo, what's the story
on that little pistol over there?
191
00:13:37,592 --> 00:13:40,720
Because she gave me a ride earlier.
192
00:13:41,179 --> 00:13:43,765
Well, actually, she's my cousin.
193
00:13:43,931 --> 00:13:46,559
Oh, really? You hitting that?
194
00:13:47,393 --> 00:13:50,980
- She's my cousin.
- Hopefully you're kissing cousins, right?
195
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:55,902
- Come again?
- Son, all I'm really trying to ask you...
196
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:59,197
...is if you shuck her corn.
197
00:14:03,034 --> 00:14:09,082
Now, there are certain things you just
don't say to a Duke about another Duke.
198
00:14:13,503 --> 00:14:15,213
I'll shuck your corn!
199
00:14:17,715 --> 00:14:19,175
Excuse me a second.
200
00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:21,052
Pick him up! Pick him up!
201
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:25,223
Hey, hey. Can I get in on this?
202
00:14:25,389 --> 00:14:26,641
- Yeah.
- Sure.
203
00:14:34,357 --> 00:14:35,900
Oh, buddy.
204
00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:39,862
Here we go.
205
00:14:41,989 --> 00:14:44,409
Fifty bucks on the Dukes!
206
00:14:58,297 --> 00:15:00,800
- That makes two, Luke!
- Attaboy!
207
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:11,144
Hey, Billy Prickett!
208
00:15:11,394 --> 00:15:13,271
Careful, Bo-Bo.
209
00:15:17,024 --> 00:15:18,609
Don't hit him. That's A.J. Foyt!
210
00:15:18,776 --> 00:15:20,611
- Really?
- The fourth!
211
00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:50,266
- Hey, can I hit this guy?
- Kill them all!
212
00:15:53,144 --> 00:15:55,313
- The ribs are greasy.
- The beans are cold.
213
00:16:03,446 --> 00:16:06,574
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane.
214
00:16:06,741 --> 00:16:10,411
Closest thing to law enforcement
in Hazzard County.
215
00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:14,582
Rosco's been after the Duke boys
since they started walking.
216
00:16:14,749 --> 00:16:17,376
Of course, some people say
the boys' first steps...
217
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:21,964
... landed right on the sheriff's
last nerve.
218
00:16:36,145 --> 00:16:39,315
Dukes. Just once you two
ought to try leaving a place...
219
00:16:39,482 --> 00:16:42,276
...in better shape
than it was when you walked in.
220
00:16:42,443 --> 00:16:47,281
Oh, I think your boss can afford
to replace a few broken beer mugs.
221
00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:50,410
I heard there was
a little incident earlier...
222
00:16:50,576 --> 00:16:55,790
...concerning a certain crappy
orange hot rod out at the Miller farm.
223
00:16:56,207 --> 00:16:58,835
Y'all really upset some
of them construction boys.
224
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:02,964
When I got there, they were not being
gentle with your beloved piece of crap.
225
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:06,426
What'd you do, Rosco?
226
00:17:06,592 --> 00:17:10,555
I can't say she's gonna be in real good
racing shape for the rally this weekend.
227
00:17:16,018 --> 00:17:18,187
You watch yourself, hillbilly boy.
228
00:17:18,688 --> 00:17:22,608
Come on, boys. My shift's over.
I'll take you over to Cooter's.
229
00:17:22,775 --> 00:17:24,569
Come on.
230
00:17:48,092 --> 00:17:50,511
Jefferson Davis Hogg...
231
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:53,931
... the meanest man
in Hazzard County.
232
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:58,770
He's canny as a fox,
tough as a badger...
233
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:03,399
... and crooked as a hillbilly's smile.
234
00:18:05,109 --> 00:18:07,111
Well, Rosco.
235
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:13,659
I see you have redecorated.
236
00:18:13,826 --> 00:18:16,871
Interesting style. What do you call it?
237
00:18:17,038 --> 00:18:20,583
- Well, sir, the Dukes...
- The Dukes.
238
00:18:20,750 --> 00:18:22,877
I had a feeling.
239
00:18:28,633 --> 00:18:32,345
I've got some important things
happening here this weekend.
240
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:36,140
- Yes, sir.
- Are you gonna take care of the Dukes...
241
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:39,769
...or am I gonna have to make
other plans?
242
00:18:39,936 --> 00:18:42,730
I'm on top of it, Boss.
243
00:18:42,897 --> 00:18:45,441
That's what I'm afraid of.
244
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,071
- You ready?
- Is it bad?
245
00:18:50,238 --> 00:18:51,989
Not good.
246
00:18:55,701 --> 00:18:58,830
Hell, this is worse than the time
you sunk it in the Tipton Swamp.
247
00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:04,335
Mostly cosmetic damage,
right, Cooter?
248
00:19:06,045 --> 00:19:07,547
- Mostly.
- Yeah.
249
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:12,301
- He's gonna be ready for the race, right?
- Race? Come on, Bo.
250
00:19:12,468 --> 00:19:14,971
I mean, the General doesn't race.
251
00:19:15,138 --> 00:19:17,807
The General erases the competition.
252
00:19:36,951 --> 00:19:38,286
Who does this?
253
00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:45,334
It would make a nice hat or a slipper.
254
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:49,046
You know what? Just leave the General
here with me. I'll see if I can fix...
255
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:52,717
I'll have it up running in no time.
Meanwhile, you boys take my truck.
256
00:19:54,177 --> 00:19:55,887
What if you need to tow somebody?
257
00:19:56,053 --> 00:19:59,682
If I can't "toe" them, I'll just finger them.
You know what I mean?
258
00:20:04,562 --> 00:20:10,485
Close one. Even shell-shocked,
he's a better driver than you are.
259
00:20:10,651 --> 00:20:12,653
- Thanks, Cooter.
- Yeah.
260
00:20:17,241 --> 00:20:18,785
Chin up.
261
00:20:24,415 --> 00:20:26,501
Daisy?
262
00:20:26,667 --> 00:20:28,753
Jesse L. Duke.
263
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:31,756
- Uncle Jesse to you.
- Daisy.
264
00:20:31,923 --> 00:20:34,884
Now, Jesse's been
two places in his life:
265
00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:37,345
Hazzard County and Korea.
266
00:20:37,512 --> 00:20:39,931
- Daisy?
- I'm in here.
267
00:20:40,098 --> 00:20:42,266
- As far as he's concerned...
- Where are you?
268
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:43,768
I'm in the shower.
269
00:20:43,935 --> 00:20:45,395
- that's one place too many.
270
00:20:45,603 --> 00:20:47,355
Ready or not, here I come.
271
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,616
- How's it looking, good looking?
- Well, I fixed the vapor coils...
272
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:02,245
...but the boiler's still slow.
You been running this around the clock?
273
00:21:02,453 --> 00:21:06,082
Them boys break more bottles than
they deliver. Eight cases this month.
274
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:09,252
Wonder where in the hell
they are, anyway.
275
00:21:11,212 --> 00:21:13,256
It'll make you feel lots better.
276
00:21:15,842 --> 00:21:19,095
- Light the son of a bitch.
- All right.
277
00:21:24,183 --> 00:21:26,144
I feel good.
278
00:21:26,310 --> 00:21:29,147
All right, y'all, knock off
the grab-assing over there.
279
00:21:29,439 --> 00:21:31,399
What's going on, Uncle Jesse?
280
00:21:31,566 --> 00:21:34,777
Guy come out of an antique shop
carrying a big grandfather's clock.
281
00:21:34,944 --> 00:21:36,946
Bumped into this drunk,
broke the clock.
282
00:21:37,113 --> 00:21:39,240
Guy said, "Why don't you watch
where you're going."
283
00:21:39,407 --> 00:21:42,785
The drunk says, "Why don't you carry
a wristwatch like everybody else."
284
00:21:44,203 --> 00:21:46,664
Know what happens
when you give a politician Viagra?
285
00:21:46,956 --> 00:21:48,541
- No.
- He gets taller.
286
00:21:49,751 --> 00:21:51,377
Here's another one for you.
287
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:54,881
How many Dukes does it take
to screw up a moonshine delivery?
288
00:21:55,047 --> 00:21:57,550
Oh, yes, sorry about that,
Uncle Jesse. We...
289
00:22:04,348 --> 00:22:05,641
Is that Rosco?
290
00:22:05,933 --> 00:22:08,686
Wonder what
that fat sack of shit wants.
291
00:22:09,437 --> 00:22:10,897
Come on.
292
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:16,694
We can skip the "Hi, how are you's."
I'm here on official police business.
293
00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:19,030
Right here, sheriff.
294
00:22:21,949 --> 00:22:23,785
Oh, that's horseshit.
You planted that.
295
00:22:28,790 --> 00:22:32,752
"By the power vested in me
by the County of Hazzard, Georgia...
296
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:35,004
...I hereby seize this property...
297
00:22:35,171 --> 00:22:38,758
...for the crime of producing
and distributing moonshine."
298
00:22:40,176 --> 00:22:42,970
Now, Jesse,
we can do this the easy way...
299
00:22:43,137 --> 00:22:45,306
...or, of course...
300
00:22:47,683 --> 00:22:49,143
...there's that other way.
301
00:22:49,310 --> 00:22:52,271
- Let's try the that other way first.
- Now, hold on. Wait.
302
00:22:52,438 --> 00:22:54,899
Only way I'm leaving this farm
is in a wooden box.
303
00:22:55,108 --> 00:22:56,984
Well...
304
00:22:57,985 --> 00:23:00,321
Hi, Dukes.
305
00:23:02,198 --> 00:23:03,699
Hi.
306
00:23:04,867 --> 00:23:06,202
Well, now.
307
00:23:07,203 --> 00:23:08,704
Lookie there.
308
00:23:09,414 --> 00:23:14,043
Moonshining.
What a shame, what a shame.
309
00:23:14,210 --> 00:23:17,380
- That ain't ours, Boss.
- Really?
310
00:23:17,547 --> 00:23:19,882
You're out of here.
311
00:23:20,049 --> 00:23:22,301
This land ain't yours anymore.
312
00:23:22,468 --> 00:23:24,512
You're gonna have to
live somewhere else...
313
00:23:24,679 --> 00:23:27,348
...and you're never gonna moonshine...
- Why, you prick!
314
00:23:27,515 --> 00:23:32,645
Watch out. I got my dog here,
and I ain't fed him, and he's real hungry.
315
00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:36,232
Easy, Jesse. Not now.
316
00:23:39,652 --> 00:23:42,780
You boys done started a fight
you can't win.
317
00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:53,416
Well, you have my sympathy.
Y'all take care, now.
318
00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:01,632
- Should've busted a cap in his ass.
- Hell, yeah.
319
00:24:01,799 --> 00:24:03,926
Hey, easy now, boys.
320
00:24:04,093 --> 00:24:07,096
Thanks for taking us in, Pauline.
We really appreciate it.
321
00:24:07,305 --> 00:24:09,098
Oh, honey, it is my pleasure.
322
00:24:09,265 --> 00:24:13,269
I left three toes in Korea for this country,
and this is the thanks I get.
323
00:24:13,436 --> 00:24:15,938
I don't understand how they
could just take your farm.
324
00:24:16,147 --> 00:24:18,024
They planted a still in our barn.
325
00:24:18,191 --> 00:24:22,945
They planted a still? Now,
why would they need to plant a still?
326
00:24:23,112 --> 00:24:26,115
Because they're too damn dumb
to find our real one.
327
00:24:26,407 --> 00:24:30,078
I was waiting on old Bill Miller
up at the truck stop last night.
328
00:24:30,244 --> 00:24:34,540
He said Boss' men seized his land
for some trumped-up charge too.
329
00:24:34,957 --> 00:24:38,920
Maybe it's got to do with all that
construction equipment up at the Millers'.
330
00:24:39,087 --> 00:24:41,547
You wanna go up there
and take a second look?
331
00:24:41,714 --> 00:24:43,633
Oh, I don't know, boys.
332
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,343
Oh, now, Pauline.
333
00:24:47,553 --> 00:24:50,515
Don't worry, Uncle Jesse.
We're gonna take care of it.
334
00:24:51,140 --> 00:24:53,309
You know what's gonna happen,
don't you?
335
00:24:53,476 --> 00:24:56,521
Those two are gonna get themselves
in trouble, end up in jail...
336
00:24:56,687 --> 00:24:59,190
...and I'm gonna have to
shake my ass to get them out.
337
00:24:59,399 --> 00:25:01,526
That's why we love you, honey.
338
00:25:05,696 --> 00:25:09,242
- Oh, goddamn it.
- Well, well, well.
339
00:25:10,576 --> 00:25:12,703
What the hell
do you think you're doing?
340
00:25:12,912 --> 00:25:15,540
What's it look like?
I'm building a doomsday machine...
341
00:25:15,706 --> 00:25:18,042
...gonna aim it right up
your heinie hole.
342
00:25:18,334 --> 00:25:20,545
You stupid enough to think
you can fix this?
343
00:25:20,753 --> 00:25:23,131
- I'm fixing to fix it.
- Oh, you fixing to fix it.
344
00:25:23,297 --> 00:25:26,259
You couldn't fix an election
if your brother was the governor.
345
00:25:26,551 --> 00:25:28,511
What do you want, Rosco?
346
00:25:28,719 --> 00:25:33,850
This here vehicle, it was used in the
illegal transportation of moonshine.
347
00:25:34,016 --> 00:25:35,601
Boss wants it impounded.
348
00:25:35,768 --> 00:25:38,604
It ain't running right now,
and my tow truck ain't here...
349
00:25:38,771 --> 00:25:40,690
...so unless you stick it up your ass...
350
00:25:40,857 --> 00:25:43,401
Hey, one way or another,
grease monkey...
351
00:25:43,568 --> 00:25:46,529
...tomorrow I'm auctioning off
this hunk of junk.
352
00:25:46,738 --> 00:25:49,157
So y'all have a good night, now, okay?
353
00:25:52,410 --> 00:25:56,539
I got two words for you:
soap and water.
354
00:25:57,915 --> 00:26:00,084
That's three words.
355
00:26:00,251 --> 00:26:02,044
Stupid.
356
00:26:09,260 --> 00:26:10,928
Hey, man, this is Cooter.
357
00:26:11,137 --> 00:26:14,640
Round up the fellas.
I got a job for them.
358
00:26:18,478 --> 00:26:20,730
Lot of equipment there
for an abandoned farm.
359
00:26:20,897 --> 00:26:24,317
Yeah, and that fence went up
pretty quick too, huh?
360
00:26:24,734 --> 00:26:27,737
- Let's go ditch the truck.
- All right.
361
00:26:52,970 --> 00:26:55,932
Well, ain't that cute,
a man taking his pig for a walk.
362
00:27:00,937 --> 00:27:02,355
Come on.
363
00:27:10,988 --> 00:27:12,782
What now?
364
00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:21,165
Lookie here, Bo.
365
00:27:22,708 --> 00:27:26,504
He's got our farm marked, right next
to the Millers' and the Robinsons'.
366
00:27:27,839 --> 00:27:31,008
What the hell does he want
with all this land?
367
00:27:31,217 --> 00:27:33,344
I don't know.
368
00:27:34,554 --> 00:27:38,474
But I tell you what,
if I was incriminating information...
369
00:27:38,683 --> 00:27:41,853
...I'd be hiding in that big,
huge son of a bitch.
370
00:27:42,228 --> 00:27:45,356
- How are we supposed to open that?
- I don't know about you...
371
00:27:45,565 --> 00:27:48,317
... but I'd sure hate to be
that safe right now.
372
00:27:48,735 --> 00:27:50,486
Yeah!
373
00:28:04,083 --> 00:28:07,044
Holy shit.
374
00:28:17,847 --> 00:28:19,682
Hope they got e-mail.
375
00:28:32,570 --> 00:28:34,447
Oh, dear.
376
00:28:45,083 --> 00:28:47,043
What the hell?
377
00:28:50,963 --> 00:28:52,381
It's stuck on a pole.
378
00:28:52,757 --> 00:28:55,259
I'll check it.
379
00:29:08,147 --> 00:29:11,275
- Give it some gas!
- Okay!
380
00:29:17,365 --> 00:29:21,577
- Hey, give it a little more gas!
- Okay!
381
00:29:21,744 --> 00:29:24,956
- Hey, Bo, hold up!
- Okay!
382
00:29:25,331 --> 00:29:27,125
Hey! No, Bo! No!
383
00:29:27,291 --> 00:29:29,127
Okay!
384
00:29:31,254 --> 00:29:33,923
- Yeah!
- Bo!
385
00:29:35,675 --> 00:29:38,469
- No, Bo!
- Sorry, cuz.
386
00:29:38,636 --> 00:29:40,471
You'd do the same thing to me.
387
00:29:40,638 --> 00:29:42,473
Bo!
388
00:29:48,438 --> 00:29:50,398
Bo, damn it!
389
00:29:51,691 --> 00:29:53,609
Hold on, little buddy!
390
00:29:57,780 --> 00:29:59,824
Oh, shit!
391
00:30:06,956 --> 00:30:08,416
Bo, you son of a...
392
00:30:28,352 --> 00:30:32,398
I said, no, Bo. No!
393
00:30:34,942 --> 00:30:38,237
I thought you said, "Go, Bo. Go."
394
00:30:38,404 --> 00:30:40,364
You see how that sounds kind of...?
395
00:30:44,243 --> 00:30:47,413
Hey, you know what?
Sheev lives near here.
396
00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:49,665
Maybe he can help us
open this thing up, huh?
397
00:30:50,583 --> 00:30:52,376
Yeah.
398
00:30:53,878 --> 00:30:56,464
Okay. We'll go to Sheev's.
399
00:31:05,431 --> 00:31:08,726
Rosco, this here's Chip.
400
00:31:08,893 --> 00:31:11,145
You might wanna call Hogg...
401
00:31:11,312 --> 00:31:16,067
...and tell him them two fellers,
they made off with his safe.
402
00:31:16,275 --> 00:31:19,404
And I might need a ride too.
403
00:31:24,409 --> 00:31:27,370
Boss, what kind of mood you in?
404
00:31:27,578 --> 00:31:30,748
I'm in a crawfish-boiling mood.
405
00:31:31,791 --> 00:31:36,212
Well, it seems that the Duke boys...
406
00:31:36,379 --> 00:31:38,881
...have stolen your safe.
407
00:31:43,886 --> 00:31:47,181
I am officially upgrading the Dukes...
408
00:31:47,348 --> 00:31:52,145
...from "fly in my ointment"
to "thorn in my side."
409
00:31:52,311 --> 00:31:56,899
And if they happen to elevate
themselves to "pain in my ass"...
410
00:31:57,066 --> 00:32:02,071
...then I'm gonna boil you. Got it?
411
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,615
- Yes, sir.
- Now...
412
00:32:04,782 --> 00:32:08,745
...I want you to find the Dukes
and lock them up.
413
00:32:08,953 --> 00:32:13,374
Oh, and bring me my damn safe back.
414
00:32:13,541 --> 00:32:15,334
Yes, sir.
415
00:32:20,173 --> 00:32:21,466
Flash.
416
00:32:33,895 --> 00:32:35,480
Evening, Sheev.
417
00:32:38,066 --> 00:32:39,692
Sheev.
418
00:32:48,493 --> 00:32:52,288
I'm looking for them Duke boys.
You seen them?
419
00:32:54,582 --> 00:32:57,710
They was last seen
heading up this road here.
420
00:32:59,545 --> 00:33:03,049
You still got them CIA mind probes
stuck in your head, boy?
421
00:33:03,216 --> 00:33:05,843
Far as I know.
422
00:33:06,010 --> 00:33:08,971
Good.
Keep your little antennae up there...
423
00:33:09,138 --> 00:33:12,767
...in case you see the Dukes,
you let me know, you hear?
424
00:33:12,934 --> 00:33:14,519
Yeah.
425
00:33:17,522 --> 00:33:19,816
Stinks out here, you know that?
426
00:33:32,078 --> 00:33:34,080
- Is he gone, Sheev?
- He's gone.
427
00:33:43,464 --> 00:33:45,591
- Prickett, Prickett.
- It means a lot to me...
428
00:33:45,758 --> 00:33:47,885
... to be invited here
back to my hometown.
429
00:33:48,094 --> 00:33:50,221
I hope to remind
the good people of Hazzard...
430
00:33:50,430 --> 00:33:54,183
- ... what it feels like to be proud again.
- We love you, Billy!
431
00:33:54,559 --> 00:33:58,479
And I hope to remind the good people
of Hazzard to come out to the rally...
432
00:33:58,646 --> 00:34:01,149
... and cheer their favorite son,
Billy Prickett!
433
00:34:03,568 --> 00:34:06,154
And I'm declaring today
Billy Prickett Day.
434
00:34:07,989 --> 00:34:10,241
You're too kind.
I just hope, come Saturday...
435
00:34:10,450 --> 00:34:12,994
... I'm not too hazardous on the roads.
436
00:34:14,412 --> 00:34:16,289
"Hazardous on the roads."
437
00:34:16,622 --> 00:34:19,208
- This one's for you!
- This is Tammy Arinder...
438
00:34:19,375 --> 00:34:21,836
... at the parade, for WCNU News.
439
00:34:22,003 --> 00:34:24,172
Seeing Billy Prickett race in person?
440
00:34:24,338 --> 00:34:27,091
That might be worth
putting my pants on for.
441
00:34:27,258 --> 00:34:30,219
- Bo, you racing on Saturday?
- I'm planning on it.
442
00:34:30,470 --> 00:34:32,597
What's the prize for second place?
443
00:34:34,390 --> 00:34:36,142
Gonna be good.
Tough one, good luck.
444
00:34:36,309 --> 00:34:38,936
It's a little weird
he's coming back here to race.
445
00:34:39,145 --> 00:34:43,232
Life's weird, Luke. Someday
you're gonna have to accept that.
446
00:34:46,235 --> 00:34:49,572
Well, okay.
Let's take a look at that lockbox.
447
00:34:51,157 --> 00:34:53,659
Oh, yeah. Liberty 400.
448
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:57,163
High-density,
9200-psi composite material.
449
00:34:57,330 --> 00:34:59,665
Two-inch chrome bolts,
vertical and horizontal.
450
00:34:59,832 --> 00:35:03,628
And a spring-loaded, independent
relocking device, with a foreign body.
451
00:35:03,795 --> 00:35:07,131
- She's a beauty.
- Can you crack it?
452
00:35:07,340 --> 00:35:09,801
I'm gonna do more than crack it.
453
00:35:10,802 --> 00:35:12,970
Goddamn it.
454
00:35:17,517 --> 00:35:21,646
Armadillo. They've been infiltrating
my perimeter all summer.
455
00:35:21,813 --> 00:35:25,274
- The hell you do with them?
- I make helmets.
456
00:35:25,441 --> 00:35:29,320
Armadillo helmets can block
even the best brain-wave scanners.
457
00:35:29,487 --> 00:35:31,656
Make a pretty good soup bowl too.
458
00:35:31,823 --> 00:35:34,659
So okay. I'm gonna
go to work on this thing.
459
00:35:34,826 --> 00:35:38,663
While I do, would you be a dear, Bo,
and go grab me that armadillo?
460
00:35:41,749 --> 00:35:43,584
Thanks.
461
00:35:45,002 --> 00:35:47,088
Man, he looks pissed off.
462
00:35:49,006 --> 00:35:52,176
Come on, y'all! That was a good one.
463
00:35:52,635 --> 00:35:55,388
All right, maybe you could
take it off now.
464
00:35:55,722 --> 00:35:58,433
Got a real nice deal on this stuff.
Government issue.
465
00:35:58,599 --> 00:36:02,186
Only expired about six months ago,
so should have a real nice pop.
466
00:36:03,146 --> 00:36:05,690
Yeah! Cooter's got
the General running.
467
00:36:06,399 --> 00:36:09,694
- Might be able to race on Saturday.
- Really?
468
00:36:09,861 --> 00:36:13,072
We gotta get it out of there tonight.
Rosco wants to impound it.
469
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,283
Watch your ass, fellas.
470
00:36:21,914 --> 00:36:24,333
This is the fastest-burning
fuse you got, Sheev?
471
00:36:24,500 --> 00:36:26,252
It's a Chinese fuse.
472
00:36:39,223 --> 00:36:41,476
- Might be a wet fuse.
- Well, should we check it?
473
00:36:41,642 --> 00:36:44,479
Depends if you like how your face
is configured, pretty boy.
474
00:36:44,645 --> 00:36:46,355
I think you got the wires backwards.
475
00:36:46,522 --> 00:36:48,900
They're supposed to be.
It's a Chinese fuse.
476
00:36:49,108 --> 00:36:51,277
No, backwards from how
they're supposed to be.
477
00:36:51,444 --> 00:36:54,072
You ever been to China?
Have you ever been to China?
478
00:36:54,238 --> 00:36:55,656
I ate Chinese food once.
479
00:36:55,823 --> 00:36:58,367
Well, you don't blow up
mu shu pork, my friend.
480
00:36:58,534 --> 00:37:00,036
I dated a Korean girl in school.
481
00:37:00,244 --> 00:37:02,789
That is a different Oriental nation.
Get an education.
482
00:37:02,955 --> 00:37:05,416
- You got the fuse wrong.
- You know nothing about...
483
00:37:05,583 --> 00:37:08,211
...Chino-Sino-American relations.
- You're missing the point.
484
00:37:19,847 --> 00:37:21,766
Might've used too much.
485
00:37:25,561 --> 00:37:27,980
Man, that rattled my sphincter.
486
00:37:31,984 --> 00:37:34,946
What the hell is that? Drugs?
487
00:37:35,113 --> 00:37:36,781
Don't look like no drugs I ever saw.
488
00:37:37,156 --> 00:37:41,077
- What the hell are these numbers?
- It's a core sample.
489
00:37:41,452 --> 00:37:45,832
Mining. They drill a hole, take a sample,
send it to the lab, see what they got.
490
00:37:45,998 --> 00:37:48,084
- Core samples of what?
- How should I know?
491
00:37:48,251 --> 00:37:52,088
Am I wearing a white coat here?
I cut bait and blow shit up for a living.
492
00:37:52,255 --> 00:37:56,259
- Take it to a lab.
- I don't know, maybe at the university?
493
00:37:56,426 --> 00:38:00,263
- Katie-Lynn Johnson's at the university.
- Oh, yeah, that's right.
494
00:38:00,430 --> 00:38:03,224
Man, I always had a thing for that girl.
495
00:38:03,391 --> 00:38:06,769
Remember she used to come by
the farm with those tight little outfits?
496
00:38:06,936 --> 00:38:10,606
- No, I can't say I remember that.
- I thought I had her too.
497
00:38:10,773 --> 00:38:14,652
Then she pulled a goddamn Keyser Soze
on me, and like that...
498
00:38:14,861 --> 00:38:16,446
...she was gone.
499
00:38:16,612 --> 00:38:18,781
You don't remember that?
500
00:38:18,948 --> 00:38:20,324
Well, okay.
501
00:38:20,491 --> 00:38:24,162
Unless you need something else blown,
I'll go inside and wash my mongoose.
502
00:38:27,373 --> 00:38:29,167
Okay.
503
00:38:30,126 --> 00:38:32,587
Come on, Luke. Let's get the General.
504
00:38:32,879 --> 00:38:35,131
Why don't we have Cooter stash that.
505
00:38:35,298 --> 00:38:37,341
We'll take his truck,
head to the highway...
506
00:38:37,550 --> 00:38:41,971
How would you feel if the General and I
went to Atlanta and left you behind?
507
00:39:09,415 --> 00:39:11,042
Ain't she a Georgia peach?
508
00:39:11,250 --> 00:39:13,377
What'd you do,
make a deal with the devil?
509
00:39:13,753 --> 00:39:16,589
Luke. Luke. Is that a Hemi?
510
00:39:18,841 --> 00:39:21,803
Me and my buddies lose the Gettysburg
reenactment every other Sunday.
511
00:39:21,969 --> 00:39:24,138
So we figured,
why not let General Lee win one?
512
00:39:24,597 --> 00:39:27,225
I don't know how
we're gonna pay you back, Cooter.
513
00:39:27,392 --> 00:39:31,020
Would a BJ from Daisy be within
the realm of possibility?
514
00:39:31,187 --> 00:39:33,064
Not gonna happen.
515
00:39:33,272 --> 00:39:36,067
How about a pair
of her still-warm shorts?
516
00:39:36,275 --> 00:39:37,610
All right.
517
00:39:37,777 --> 00:39:41,447
Hey, Bo, just win that Hazzard Rally.
That's thanks enough.
518
00:39:41,614 --> 00:39:45,743
And when you get that prize money, you
pay me, because that's how it works.
519
00:39:45,952 --> 00:39:48,162
I love you, Cooter.
520
00:39:50,123 --> 00:39:52,750
- I didn't have time to fix everything.
- Right.
521
00:39:55,461 --> 00:39:57,422
Let's get that car.
522
00:40:24,323 --> 00:40:27,452
Get in your cars and get them!
Get after them! Now!
523
00:40:27,660 --> 00:40:29,746
Cooter!
524
00:40:35,376 --> 00:40:37,253
All right.
525
00:40:38,796 --> 00:40:41,466
That's so good, man.
526
00:40:44,135 --> 00:40:46,012
Enough.
527
00:40:46,179 --> 00:40:50,141
Man, I'm never gonna get out
of this car again. I'm gonna live in it.
528
00:40:50,349 --> 00:40:53,144
I'm gonna eat in it.
And I'm gonna make sweet love to it.
529
00:40:53,603 --> 00:40:55,563
You mean you gonna make
sweet love in it.
530
00:40:55,730 --> 00:40:57,315
Oh, no, I wanna fuck it.
531
00:40:57,523 --> 00:41:00,234
All units, we are in hot pursuit
of them Duke boys...
532
00:41:00,401 --> 00:41:03,863
...in their piece-of-shit orange car.
533
00:41:06,574 --> 00:41:08,326
"Piece of..." You son of a bitch.
534
00:41:27,387 --> 00:41:29,013
Hey! Get back here!
535
00:41:29,222 --> 00:41:32,100
- "Lost Sheep, you out there"?
- Hey, Cooter.
536
00:41:32,266 --> 00:41:35,728
These fellas ain't gonna be
doing much chasing.
537
00:41:35,895 --> 00:41:38,940
- Thanks, man.
- I'm gonna run right over Billy Prickett.
538
00:41:39,107 --> 00:41:40,817
How about we go to Atlanta first?
539
00:41:40,983 --> 00:41:43,486
All right, cuz.
540
00:41:45,822 --> 00:41:49,826
Oh, look at that.
There's your problem right there.
541
00:41:50,034 --> 00:41:51,369
Yeah, that's a shame.
542
00:41:53,538 --> 00:41:55,998
Let's go to Atlanta.
543
00:42:05,842 --> 00:42:07,802
Luke.
544
00:42:07,969 --> 00:42:09,721
Luke.
545
00:42:11,139 --> 00:42:16,060
I know why it didn't work out with
me and Katie before. It was just timing.
546
00:42:16,269 --> 00:42:18,896
Life is all about timing, you know?
547
00:42:19,188 --> 00:42:22,692
It's my time now.
I'm gonna win that race on Saturday.
548
00:42:22,900 --> 00:42:26,612
We're gonna get the farm back.
I got my BFF, you.
549
00:42:27,613 --> 00:42:30,408
And I'm gonna get Katie Johnson,
you watch.
550
00:42:34,787 --> 00:42:36,914
It's my time.
551
00:42:38,291 --> 00:42:41,669
What's going on?
552
00:42:44,464 --> 00:42:49,177
Yeah, baby!
Southern by the grace of God!
553
00:42:52,638 --> 00:42:55,183
Well, at least we know
they're nice up here.
554
00:42:55,433 --> 00:42:58,978
Hurry up, you're late
for your Klan meeting, asshole.
555
00:42:59,145 --> 00:43:01,731
- Klan meeting?
- Don't listen to her.
556
00:43:01,898 --> 00:43:05,276
The South will rise again.
557
00:43:05,485 --> 00:43:07,737
Yee-haw, brother!
558
00:43:07,904 --> 00:43:09,947
What the hell's wrong
with these people?
559
00:43:10,156 --> 00:43:13,326
Nice roof, redneck.
Join us in the 21 st century?
560
00:43:21,793 --> 00:43:24,545
We're gonna make
some friends up here, huh?
561
00:43:33,763 --> 00:43:36,391
Oh, excuse me.
Can I help you, ma'am?
562
00:43:36,557 --> 00:43:38,393
Daisy! Oh, boy.
563
00:43:38,559 --> 00:43:40,978
Enos, what's Boss doing
taking all that land?
564
00:43:41,145 --> 00:43:45,316
I don't know. They won't tell me. You
gotta go. I'm supposed to arrest you.
565
00:43:45,525 --> 00:43:48,194
- Come on, I'm serious.
- Get. Get out of here.
566
00:43:48,361 --> 00:43:51,531
Hey. You Anus?
567
00:43:52,115 --> 00:43:54,075
No, that's Enos, Mr. Prickett.
568
00:43:55,827 --> 00:43:59,163
Sorry about that. Is Hogg around?
He asked me to come by.
569
00:43:59,330 --> 00:44:03,793
Oh, yeah. He's out back
in the garage, Mr. Prickett.
570
00:44:05,211 --> 00:44:07,463
Well, howdy, ma'am.
How are you today?
571
00:44:07,630 --> 00:44:10,007
It's just right on out back there.
I'll show you.
572
00:44:10,174 --> 00:44:13,094
Yep, head out that way.
573
00:44:16,097 --> 00:44:18,266
There you go.
574
00:44:20,351 --> 00:44:22,228
There he is.
575
00:44:22,395 --> 00:44:24,397
- Hometown hero.
- Hogg.
576
00:44:24,564 --> 00:44:26,232
- How you doing, son?
- Well...
577
00:44:26,399 --> 00:44:29,694
...this is a great place to crap,
but I'm ready to head to Atlanta.
578
00:44:29,861 --> 00:44:31,237
Not before the race.
579
00:44:31,571 --> 00:44:33,740
Don't you worry about that.
580
00:44:33,906 --> 00:44:37,326
I want you down at that finish line.
Sign autographs for the kids.
581
00:44:37,493 --> 00:44:39,412
- Yeah, I know the drill.
- I know you do.
582
00:44:39,579 --> 00:44:42,582
But I need you there for two hours, son.
Two hours.
583
00:44:42,749 --> 00:44:44,876
Kissing hands and shaking babies.
584
00:44:45,084 --> 00:44:48,713
You got that backwards.
It's shaking hands and kiss the babies.
585
00:44:48,921 --> 00:44:52,842
Oh, yeah? Maybe that's why I lost
that governor's election in '86.
586
00:44:57,597 --> 00:44:59,682
Hogg, what the hell am I doing here?
587
00:44:59,849 --> 00:45:01,809
Rosco.
588
00:45:04,896 --> 00:45:07,648
Whoa, what is this?
You off the reservation?
589
00:45:07,815 --> 00:45:10,568
See how it kind of catches me
around the eyes there?
590
00:45:10,777 --> 00:45:14,072
Look here, I already got sponsors.
591
00:45:14,238 --> 00:45:17,033
What am I supposed
to tell Castrol, Yahoo!?
592
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,619
Tell them it's for charity.
593
00:45:19,786 --> 00:45:22,080
- Is it?
- Sure. Could be.
594
00:45:23,372 --> 00:45:27,001
Whatever you say.
I'm gonna win that race by a mile.
595
00:45:27,168 --> 00:45:29,754
It don't matter whose face
is on my car when I do.
596
00:45:29,921 --> 00:45:35,134
I don't need you to win the race.
I just need you to show up.
597
00:45:48,272 --> 00:45:50,691
Hey there, Mr. Prickett.
598
00:45:50,858 --> 00:45:53,277
Well, hello, Daisy.
599
00:45:53,486 --> 00:45:58,616
I was just walking by, and I saw your car
in the garage there. She's real sexy.
600
00:45:58,783 --> 00:46:02,120
Well, thank you.
She's faster than a cheetah on cocaine.
601
00:46:02,286 --> 00:46:04,038
Yeah, I know.
602
00:46:04,205 --> 00:46:06,958
Why is there a picture of Boss Hogg
on your car, though?
603
00:46:07,125 --> 00:46:09,252
- Yeah, well, he...
- I read somewhere...
604
00:46:09,419 --> 00:46:15,133
...that Coca-Cola pays you over
$ 100,000 to put their logo on your door.
605
00:46:15,299 --> 00:46:17,009
- You read that?
- That same article...
606
00:46:17,176 --> 00:46:20,012
...mentioned that Budweiser
pays you over $ 100,000...
607
00:46:20,179 --> 00:46:22,807
...to put their logo on your trunk.
- Look, Daisy...
608
00:46:23,015 --> 00:46:25,893
...l'm not much of a reader.
- Boss Hogg's face is sitting...
609
00:46:26,060 --> 00:46:29,731
...on over $200,000 worth
of real estate.
610
00:46:30,022 --> 00:46:31,441
Is that what he's paying you?
611
00:46:31,607 --> 00:46:36,237
Oh, no, no, Daisy,
this race here is for charity.
612
00:46:36,404 --> 00:46:38,406
Really? Which one?
613
00:46:40,241 --> 00:46:41,784
Anal bifida.
614
00:46:41,951 --> 00:46:43,619
Spinal bifida.
615
00:46:43,953 --> 00:46:45,496
It's one of the bifidas.
616
00:46:47,623 --> 00:46:51,461
Have I told you that you're as purty
as a Hazzard County sunset?
617
00:46:51,627 --> 00:46:54,839
Have a good day, Mr. Prickett.
618
00:46:55,048 --> 00:46:57,383
Okay.
619
00:47:15,068 --> 00:47:17,570
Lot of smart people out there.
620
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:42,887
Look out, Katie.
621
00:47:46,265 --> 00:47:48,476
Hello. Hi.
622
00:47:48,810 --> 00:47:50,311
- Hello.
- Hello.
623
00:47:50,478 --> 00:47:53,606
- Oh, boy.
- Hi.
624
00:47:54,607 --> 00:47:58,653
You don't think it's too late
to take them SATs, do you?
625
00:48:02,782 --> 00:48:05,410
You gotta keep an open mind
in college.
626
00:48:07,161 --> 00:48:10,415
This is it, Luke. I can feel it.
627
00:48:10,623 --> 00:48:13,167
Hey, do you know
where Katie Johnson is?
628
00:48:13,334 --> 00:48:15,211
I think she's in that room right there.
629
00:48:15,378 --> 00:48:17,380
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
630
00:48:20,174 --> 00:48:22,677
- I got a great opening line for Katie.
- What is it?
631
00:48:22,844 --> 00:48:24,595
You'll see.
632
00:48:24,804 --> 00:48:27,640
- Katie Johnson?
- She's down the hall.
633
00:48:27,807 --> 00:48:31,352
- Cool.
- Come on, down the hall.
634
00:48:34,105 --> 00:48:36,232
Katie Johnson?
635
00:48:36,399 --> 00:48:39,652
- She's down the hall.
- Do you guys go to school here?
636
00:48:40,653 --> 00:48:42,864
No, but do you have an application?
637
00:48:43,406 --> 00:48:44,782
Not on me.
638
00:48:46,659 --> 00:48:48,995
Come on, now, focus.
639
00:48:54,333 --> 00:48:56,252
Let's hope she's not in here either.
640
00:48:56,419 --> 00:48:59,213
- Katie Johnson?
- Fuck me running!
641
00:48:59,714 --> 00:49:02,633
- You looking for Katie?
- We were.
642
00:49:03,009 --> 00:49:05,803
- You guys Hacky?
- Hacky!
643
00:49:06,012 --> 00:49:09,140
- What about Katie?
- Maybe she's in here.
644
00:49:16,189 --> 00:49:18,691
Goodbye, Bo. Bye, Luke.
645
00:49:19,067 --> 00:49:20,902
I guess she wasn't in there.
646
00:49:21,069 --> 00:49:23,654
- We didn't check under the couch.
- Luke! Bo!
647
00:49:23,821 --> 00:49:25,948
- Katie.
- Katie-Lynn.
648
00:49:30,369 --> 00:49:32,497
So he's still doing that?
649
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:36,918
- Did I just faint?
- No.
650
00:49:37,085 --> 00:49:39,337
Oh, my God. I can't believe y'all came.
651
00:49:40,380 --> 00:49:43,341
We just wanna pay you visit,
the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
652
00:49:43,674 --> 00:49:45,510
What?
653
00:49:45,676 --> 00:49:49,180
We just wanna pay a visit
to the prettiest girl in Atlanta.
654
00:49:49,347 --> 00:49:52,433
That's sweet. I can't believe
what happened to y'all's farm.
655
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:54,185
We're gonna get it back.
656
00:49:54,352 --> 00:49:57,188
I love that farm.
I used to have so much fun there.
657
00:49:57,814 --> 00:49:59,524
- See?
- This is my roommate, Annette.
658
00:49:59,690 --> 00:50:02,193
- Annette, this is Bo and Luke.
- Nice to meet you.
659
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:05,613
- Ma'am.
- Annette's from Australia.
660
00:50:05,905 --> 00:50:09,158
Let's put another shrimp
on the barbie!
661
00:50:12,370 --> 00:50:14,705
- That's what they say there.
- Okay.
662
00:50:14,872 --> 00:50:16,874
What do y'all need
in the geology lab?
663
00:50:17,041 --> 00:50:19,710
It has something to do
with them taking our farm...
664
00:50:19,877 --> 00:50:22,547
...but we don't know
what the hell it is.
665
00:50:24,048 --> 00:50:26,884
I don't know that they'll let y'all in,
but we'll take you.
666
00:50:27,051 --> 00:50:30,346
- We'll get dressed. Y'all wait downstairs.
- We're gonna wait here.
667
00:50:30,513 --> 00:50:32,724
Downstairs is fine.
668
00:50:36,310 --> 00:50:39,313
It's happening, Luke.
It's all happening.
669
00:50:48,072 --> 00:50:49,866
I'll give you that, Jesse.
670
00:50:50,032 --> 00:50:53,035
- I'll give you that.
- Will you now?
671
00:50:54,162 --> 00:50:56,998
What are you doing with my land,
Jefferson?
672
00:50:57,749 --> 00:50:59,834
Ain't your land anymore.
673
00:51:00,376 --> 00:51:03,755
Wasn't that long ago you was
a moonshiner too. Remember?
674
00:51:03,921 --> 00:51:05,798
Well, I have reformed from my sins.
675
00:51:05,965 --> 00:51:08,509
I am now an honest businessman.
676
00:51:08,676 --> 00:51:10,428
Like sponsoring racecars?
677
00:51:10,595 --> 00:51:13,806
What are you getting out of bringing
Billy Prickett down here?
678
00:51:15,475 --> 00:51:19,479
You know, your nephew's won that race
four years in a row.
679
00:51:19,645 --> 00:51:23,316
Now, who's gonna fault me
for breaking up a dynasty?
680
00:51:23,483 --> 00:51:25,568
Well, I know you're rich,
and I know you stink.
681
00:51:25,777 --> 00:51:27,612
But you ain't stinking rich.
682
00:51:27,779 --> 00:51:30,031
You wouldn't be throwing
that money at Prickett...
683
00:51:30,198 --> 00:51:32,867
...unless you thought he was
gonna earn you 10 times that.
684
00:51:33,034 --> 00:51:37,830
You're a smart man.
So why don't you do the smart thing.
685
00:51:37,997 --> 00:51:41,042
Why don't you take your family
and leave.
686
00:51:41,209 --> 00:51:44,796
Because, see, now I own that farm.
687
00:51:44,962 --> 00:51:48,424
And you ain't never gonna get it back.
688
00:52:00,144 --> 00:52:03,064
I have all the cards, Jesse.
689
00:52:03,231 --> 00:52:04,941
You don't have spit.
690
00:52:05,400 --> 00:52:07,485
It ain't over yet.
691
00:52:12,281 --> 00:52:15,368
Hey, Bo, I love your car.
She really rumbles.
692
00:52:15,660 --> 00:52:18,371
It's actually a he. Right, Katie?
693
00:52:25,294 --> 00:52:26,879
I ain't even speeding.
694
00:52:44,856 --> 00:52:47,150
You know how fast you were going?
695
00:52:47,316 --> 00:52:52,113
- What?
- How fast you were going.
696
00:52:53,030 --> 00:52:55,867
- I don't know. Ten?
- Eight.
697
00:52:56,033 --> 00:53:01,038
- Isn't the speed limit 10?
- Yeah. It is.
698
00:53:01,539 --> 00:53:04,000
You guys police?
699
00:53:04,208 --> 00:53:05,835
Campus police.
700
00:53:12,467 --> 00:53:14,510
Mother of God.
701
00:53:23,478 --> 00:53:25,021
Oh, wait.
702
00:53:35,490 --> 00:53:39,535
I know it's a shame to hide your beauty
like this, but it's for your own good.
703
00:53:39,702 --> 00:53:41,079
What?
704
00:53:41,662 --> 00:53:43,956
I'm not even gonna respond to that.
That's crazy.
705
00:53:44,248 --> 00:53:48,086
I know, I'll miss you too.
I'll be right back.
706
00:53:48,669 --> 00:53:51,506
All right, let's go. Let's go.
707
00:53:57,053 --> 00:54:01,391
Katie-Lynn seems like a girl you could
settle down with, don't you think, Luke?
708
00:54:01,557 --> 00:54:03,309
- Yeah.
- I don't know, fellas.
709
00:54:03,476 --> 00:54:05,770
I don't think they're gonna
let us walk in.
710
00:54:05,937 --> 00:54:10,608
You'll think of something, Katie.
You always do. Remember that...?
711
00:54:10,775 --> 00:54:13,403
Oh, you're so pretty.
712
00:54:25,123 --> 00:54:27,667
I have an idea.
713
00:54:34,632 --> 00:54:38,052
- Can I help you?
- You're just the guy we're looking for...
714
00:54:38,219 --> 00:54:39,971
- Royce.
- Royce...?
715
00:54:40,138 --> 00:54:43,850
- Royce Williams.
- Royce Williams, maybe you can help us.
716
00:54:44,016 --> 00:54:49,147
We're here looking for the brightest
young geologists for high-paying jobs.
717
00:54:49,313 --> 00:54:50,815
Maybe you've been by our booth.
718
00:54:50,982 --> 00:54:54,318
- You're from Kamasaka Technologies?
- That's right.
719
00:54:54,485 --> 00:54:58,322
I'm Mr. Ichinowa,
and this is my colleague...
720
00:54:58,489 --> 00:54:59,991
...Yoko Takanoshi.
721
00:55:01,617 --> 00:55:02,952
Right on.
722
00:55:03,745 --> 00:55:05,538
You said you were Japanese?
723
00:55:06,122 --> 00:55:07,331
We converted.
724
00:55:09,000 --> 00:55:12,462
Your professor tells us you're some
kind of super-genius or something.
725
00:55:12,670 --> 00:55:16,841
- Really? On my last test I got a C-minus.
- Hey, that's good.
726
00:55:17,008 --> 00:55:20,094
- That's real good.
- You think...?
727
00:55:20,261 --> 00:55:22,555
You just might be
Kamasaka Tech material.
728
00:55:23,181 --> 00:55:25,516
You just gotta pass this one little test.
729
00:55:25,683 --> 00:55:29,479
You just tell us what this is right here.
730
00:55:29,687 --> 00:55:31,981
Looks like a core sample.
731
00:55:32,148 --> 00:55:35,276
- Man, that's good.
- He's good.
732
00:55:35,443 --> 00:55:39,030
- Core sample of what?
- Oh, of course.
733
00:55:55,671 --> 00:55:58,466
- What are you doing?
- What?
734
00:55:58,633 --> 00:56:02,804
- What the fuck was that?
- Relax.
735
00:56:12,230 --> 00:56:14,023
Damn! Damn!
736
00:56:14,482 --> 00:56:16,192
These are my good Levi's.
737
00:56:16,359 --> 00:56:18,444
Let's not lose focus here, Royce.
738
00:56:18,611 --> 00:56:20,196
Yes, sir, Mr. Takanoshi.
739
00:56:20,363 --> 00:56:22,990
- What'd you call me?
- Mr. Takanoshi?
740
00:56:23,574 --> 00:56:26,702
Right. That's my name.
741
00:56:28,037 --> 00:56:31,916
- Thought it might be drugs or something.
- I think I know what it is.
742
00:56:44,554 --> 00:56:47,014
Are you really with
Kamasaka Technologies?
743
00:56:47,181 --> 00:56:49,934
Damn it, we are high-powered
Japanese executives.
744
00:56:50,101 --> 00:56:52,729
We work hard,
and we play even harder.
745
00:56:52,937 --> 00:56:54,605
Now, tell us what you see there...
746
00:56:54,772 --> 00:56:57,817
...or we'll go find another candidate
at Georgia Polytech.
747
00:56:57,984 --> 00:57:00,862
It's anthracite.
748
00:57:01,404 --> 00:57:04,699
- Coal.
- Coal in Hazzard?
749
00:57:04,866 --> 00:57:08,077
- What's the street value of this?
- This much? Nothing.
750
00:57:08,244 --> 00:57:10,663
A good-sized mine? Could be millions.
751
00:57:11,080 --> 00:57:13,583
Can you show us what
a good-sized mine looks like?
752
00:57:13,750 --> 00:57:15,835
Yeah.
753
00:57:18,755 --> 00:57:22,258
Here's what it used to look like.
And this is the after.
754
00:57:26,971 --> 00:57:29,098
Damn.
755
00:57:29,474 --> 00:57:33,394
- Hogg's gonna do this to Hazzard?
- The hell he is.
756
00:57:33,644 --> 00:57:36,522
Mr. Kamasaka? We have to go.
The plane is leaving.
757
00:57:36,689 --> 00:57:40,693
Congratulations, Royce. You got the job.
How does 24,000 yen a year sound?
758
00:57:41,027 --> 00:57:42,904
Sounds like 40 bucks.
759
00:57:43,071 --> 00:57:44,405
Way to go.
760
00:57:44,572 --> 00:57:47,992
All right, man. See you in Beijing.
761
00:57:51,954 --> 00:57:55,833
- You see two guys come through here?
- You mean those two Japanese guys?
762
00:58:15,019 --> 00:58:17,605
Get me Atlanta P.D. Damn.
763
00:58:17,772 --> 00:58:19,023
Strip-mining?
764
00:58:19,273 --> 00:58:20,691
Why, that slimy bastard.
765
00:58:21,109 --> 00:58:22,610
Here's another little nugget.
766
00:58:22,777 --> 00:58:25,863
Hogg has been paying
that kid Prickett a lot of money...
767
00:58:26,030 --> 00:58:28,366
...to race here Saturday.
- He's paying him?
768
00:58:28,908 --> 00:58:32,161
Y'all better get your asses back here
quick as you can, got it?
769
00:58:32,328 --> 00:58:34,705
Ten-four, Shepherd,
this is Lost Sheep out.
770
00:58:36,499 --> 00:58:39,210
What's this? What's these crackers
doing in our place?
771
00:58:39,377 --> 00:58:43,005
Turns out Prickett came back because
Hogg paid him a assload of cash.
772
00:58:43,297 --> 00:58:46,217
Don't mean Billy has anything
to do with strip-mining.
773
00:58:46,384 --> 00:58:48,052
You got to be kidding me.
774
00:58:48,761 --> 00:58:50,680
Oh, shit. Roll them up.
775
00:58:51,514 --> 00:58:54,392
- What the hell is this, man?
- Looks like somebody's lost.
776
00:58:54,559 --> 00:58:58,020
Look, a couple of white boys playing
black. Is that's what's going on?
777
00:58:58,187 --> 00:59:01,691
Actually, we were at the geology lab
for some environmental stuff, and...
778
00:59:01,899 --> 00:59:06,863
No, I get it. They on one of these
reality shows.
779
00:59:07,071 --> 00:59:09,949
- Who Wanna Get They Ass Kicked?
- Yeah.
780
00:59:10,700 --> 00:59:14,704
Why don't you two hillbillies
join us up here for a minute?
781
00:59:14,871 --> 00:59:16,873
Actually, we prefer
Appalachian-Americans.
782
00:59:17,081 --> 00:59:18,708
Man, get out the car!
783
00:59:20,877 --> 00:59:24,589
Now, which one of you two
brothers is Michelangelo?
784
00:59:26,090 --> 00:59:30,678
There's a certain creek that people
sometimes canoe up without a paddle.
785
00:59:30,845 --> 00:59:35,516
You could say that the Duke boys
were on that particular creek right now.
786
00:59:35,683 --> 00:59:38,019
Let's kick they ass, Jerry!
787
00:59:39,687 --> 00:59:42,482
Never thought I'd say this,
but, hot damn, it's the cops.
788
00:59:44,442 --> 00:59:45,860
There goes the canoe.
789
00:59:50,948 --> 00:59:53,034
- Give me your shoelaces.
- What?
790
00:59:53,201 --> 00:59:57,622
These guys over there gave me theirs.
See, I'm gonna fashion myself a lasso.
791
00:59:57,789 --> 01:00:01,417
When the jailer comes in,
I'm gonna rope his keys.
792
01:00:01,584 --> 01:00:05,630
Luke and Bo Duke are home free.
Period, end of story.
793
01:00:05,797 --> 01:00:08,925
I got on cowboy boots, cuz.
794
01:00:09,092 --> 01:00:11,886
I like your style.
795
01:00:12,053 --> 01:00:13,971
You gonna need those shoelaces?
796
01:00:14,138 --> 01:00:17,100
We gonna have to get out of here.
797
01:00:17,350 --> 01:00:21,687
Hey, Yul Brynner. We gotta make
a phone call. We gotta call our lawyer.
798
01:00:21,854 --> 01:00:23,481
What the hell are we in here for?
799
01:00:23,815 --> 01:00:28,277
Well, where should I start?
800
01:00:34,325 --> 01:00:36,327
We know you're gonna
strip-mine Hazzard.
801
01:00:36,494 --> 01:00:39,914
Do you, now? Well, that's good.
802
01:00:40,081 --> 01:00:42,417
Guess where I'm gonna sink
that first drill.
803
01:00:42,583 --> 01:00:45,253
Right down in the middle
of your bedroom.
804
01:00:45,420 --> 01:00:49,257
Y'all do still share a bunk bed, right?
805
01:00:49,424 --> 01:00:52,635
Hey, that's a phat suit there.
What, you some type of pimp?
806
01:00:55,221 --> 01:01:00,059
What has strip-mining got to do with you
paying Billy Prickett to race tomorrow?
807
01:01:00,435 --> 01:01:03,229
You like magic, Luke? Sleight of hand?
808
01:01:03,396 --> 01:01:09,569
See, while you're looking over here,
something's really happening over here.
809
01:01:09,736 --> 01:01:15,158
You see, despite the fact
that I now own your beloved farm...
810
01:01:15,324 --> 01:01:20,079
...I can't legally mine it,
because the county won't let me.
811
01:01:20,246 --> 01:01:22,665
I need to hold a public hearing,
you know...
812
01:01:22,832 --> 01:01:28,379
...to give the citizens of Hazzard
a chance to object.
813
01:01:29,047 --> 01:01:32,967
And let me guess, you're going to hold
the hearing during the rally tomorrow?
814
01:01:33,134 --> 01:01:37,430
And if nobody knows about the hearing,
there won't be anyone there to object.
815
01:01:38,473 --> 01:01:40,516
- There you go.
- Sleight of hand.
816
01:01:40,683 --> 01:01:43,019
- Sleight of hand.
- Grow the fingernails out.
817
01:01:43,186 --> 01:01:46,189
Then pop some fingernail polish
on them bitches.
818
01:01:47,523 --> 01:01:49,734
- Is Billy Prickett in on it?
- Prickett?
819
01:01:51,778 --> 01:01:56,491
- Prickett's just collecting a paycheck.
- We ain't gonna let you get away with it.
820
01:01:56,657 --> 01:02:01,496
Really? Tomorrow, if you happen to be
strolling by the courthouse about noon...
821
01:02:01,662 --> 01:02:04,916
...you might wanna rush right in there
and voice your objections.
822
01:02:05,083 --> 01:02:06,667
Voice this.
823
01:02:08,753 --> 01:02:11,547
Dadgum it. I just remembered.
824
01:02:11,714 --> 01:02:15,093
Tomorrow morning
you're going to the Georgia work farm.
825
01:02:15,259 --> 01:02:19,389
And I hear they have a rather
strict policy on weekend passes.
826
01:02:19,597 --> 01:02:22,558
Yo, B. You need to pop
a feather in that hat, yo.
827
01:02:22,725 --> 01:02:25,395
Then your man ho's will be having
more respect for you.
828
01:02:25,728 --> 01:02:27,438
I have $ 100 right here...
829
01:02:27,605 --> 01:02:30,400
...for whoever knocks
that loudmouth son of a bitch out.
830
01:02:32,318 --> 01:02:33,736
Thank you.
831
01:02:33,903 --> 01:02:36,447
Now, break some rocks for me, boys.
832
01:02:36,614 --> 01:02:39,283
Take care, now, you hear?
833
01:02:39,450 --> 01:02:41,577
Bye-bye.
834
01:02:42,745 --> 01:02:46,332
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
835
01:03:05,226 --> 01:03:07,103
All right, here's what we're gonna do.
836
01:03:07,270 --> 01:03:11,649
When we stop for gas, we call up Cooter
and tell him to put a pig in the road, right.
837
01:03:11,816 --> 01:03:16,028
Then when the cops are moving the pig,
Cooter hooks up a cable to the bumper.
838
01:03:16,195 --> 01:03:19,574
Car drives away,
the hook will pull out the whole chassis.
839
01:03:19,741 --> 01:03:22,160
He can't drive without a chassis...
840
01:03:22,326 --> 01:03:23,995
All right, shut up back there!
841
01:03:24,162 --> 01:03:27,206
My cousin's starting to go crazy.
We gotta get him to a hospital.
842
01:03:27,373 --> 01:03:29,667
I think he done caught the fever,
or something.
843
01:03:29,834 --> 01:03:33,421
That's what happens
when you're humping livestock, hillbilly.
844
01:03:33,588 --> 01:03:36,007
Can we help you guys out
with anything up there...
845
01:03:36,174 --> 01:03:38,342
...oblige you with a reach-around
or something?
846
01:03:38,509 --> 01:03:40,887
Of course, you'd have to un-cuff us first.
847
01:03:41,054 --> 01:03:44,390
Sarge, if you and me was to have
a chase, you think you could catch me?
848
01:03:44,891 --> 01:03:48,019
- Appears to me you caught already, son.
- I'm serious.
849
01:03:48,186 --> 01:03:52,106
If I had my car and you was in this one,
you really think you could catch me?
850
01:03:52,273 --> 01:03:54,984
Because, bubba,
this car feels kind of slow to me.
851
01:03:55,151 --> 01:03:58,112
She's got plenty under the hood,
don't you worry about that.
852
01:03:58,279 --> 01:03:59,906
- No balls.
- No balls.
853
01:04:00,073 --> 01:04:02,241
No balls. No balls.
854
01:04:02,408 --> 01:04:03,826
- No balls.
- No balls.
855
01:04:03,993 --> 01:04:05,995
You wanna see balls?
856
01:04:06,162 --> 01:04:08,998
- No balls. No balls.
- Will you slow this car down?
857
01:04:09,165 --> 01:04:12,502
You letting them get your panties
in a bunch. You the officer.
858
01:04:12,668 --> 01:04:15,046
Shut the hell up back there. All right?
859
01:04:15,338 --> 01:04:18,716
- No balls.
- Oh, my God. Will you look at that?
860
01:04:18,925 --> 01:04:22,011
You need a napkin
to eat them drumsticks, boy.
861
01:04:23,638 --> 01:04:26,391
- Goddamn it.
- Nice driving!
862
01:04:32,230 --> 01:04:34,273
What seems to be the problem, sugar?
863
01:04:34,774 --> 01:04:37,568
I think something bounced up
into my undercarriage.
864
01:04:37,735 --> 01:04:40,071
- Will you take a look?
- Ma'am, I'd be pleased...
865
01:04:40,238 --> 01:04:42,573
...to check your undercarriage.
- Thank you.
866
01:04:42,740 --> 01:04:45,326
I stopped you
because your taillight is out.
867
01:04:45,493 --> 01:04:47,286
Stopped me? Sir, you hit me.
868
01:04:47,453 --> 01:04:50,415
Because your taillight is out,
and we couldn't see you brake.
869
01:04:50,581 --> 01:04:52,959
- You're gonna write me a ticket?
- Yep.
870
01:04:53,292 --> 01:04:55,169
This is ridiculous!
871
01:04:57,588 --> 01:05:00,466
Is there anything I can help you out
with today, ma'am?
872
01:05:00,633 --> 01:05:03,511
Do cute cops grow on trees
around here or what?
873
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:07,765
Well, I, you know... Pushups.
Kind of you to notice.
874
01:05:07,932 --> 01:05:10,977
Let me see what's going on
under your hood here.
875
01:05:12,729 --> 01:05:16,482
- Damn, that's hot.
- Here. Maybe this'll help.
876
01:05:20,403 --> 01:05:23,781
- Bless you.
- No, no, no. My undercarriage.
877
01:05:23,948 --> 01:05:26,367
- Your undercarriage?
- Yeah.
878
01:05:33,750 --> 01:05:37,170
Looks like you boys
have the magic touch.
879
01:05:47,055 --> 01:05:49,390
I was about to seal the deal
when you came over.
880
01:05:49,557 --> 01:05:51,768
What? She was looking at me
the whole time.
881
01:05:53,269 --> 01:05:56,105
- Let's get out of here.
- Where are the goddamn keys?
882
01:06:01,527 --> 01:06:04,030
Y'all think you can catch me now?
883
01:06:18,586 --> 01:06:20,463
Buckle up, this might get exciting.
884
01:06:20,630 --> 01:06:24,050
That's all right. We'll be long gone
before another cop shows up.
885
01:06:25,510 --> 01:06:26,677
Get skinny!
886
01:06:37,897 --> 01:06:40,483
- Okay, where's the highway?
- Don't you have a map?
887
01:06:41,567 --> 01:06:43,027
Wait. I got it.
888
01:06:46,531 --> 01:06:47,865
Turn left up here!
889
01:06:48,032 --> 01:06:49,367
Turn left, turn left!
890
01:06:50,868 --> 01:06:52,870
Damn it, I said, left!
891
01:06:53,037 --> 01:06:55,415
- You said your left!
- My left is your left.
892
01:06:55,581 --> 01:06:58,292
I'm gonna need
these directions faster.
893
01:07:01,045 --> 01:07:04,006
It's okay.
I know exactly where we're at.
894
01:07:11,556 --> 01:07:13,266
So, girls, how's the back seat?
895
01:07:13,433 --> 01:07:17,395
I haven't had this much fun since
we used to sneak up to the hayloft.
896
01:07:19,021 --> 01:07:22,150
You remember those tight little outfits
you used to make me wear.
897
01:07:27,447 --> 01:07:31,033
- I didn't know how to break it to you.
- You didn't know?
898
01:07:31,242 --> 01:07:33,077
Luke, you said he was okay with it.
899
01:07:36,748 --> 01:07:39,125
Look at the road, Bo.
900
01:07:39,292 --> 01:07:41,335
Bo, look at the road.
901
01:07:42,503 --> 01:07:45,757
- Look at the road.
- Supposed to be my time.
902
01:07:47,050 --> 01:07:48,384
Bo!
903
01:08:09,530 --> 01:08:10,907
I think I'm gonna chunder.
904
01:08:11,074 --> 01:08:12,950
- Is that bad?
- That means "vomit."
905
01:08:13,117 --> 01:08:14,660
- Not in the car.
- Bo!
906
01:08:41,479 --> 01:08:44,440
You told me she wasn't
emotionally available for me.
907
01:08:44,607 --> 01:08:47,693
That it was better to lose a lover
than to love a loser!
908
01:08:47,860 --> 01:08:50,238
Because you would faint
every time you saw her!
909
01:08:50,405 --> 01:08:52,949
I don't faint.
910
01:08:55,034 --> 01:08:56,494
You called me a loser?
911
01:08:56,661 --> 01:08:58,621
I was trying to make him feel better.
912
01:08:58,788 --> 01:09:00,331
Can you just let me out here?
913
01:09:14,220 --> 01:09:17,515
Bo, this is some of the best driving
I ever seen you do.
914
01:09:17,682 --> 01:09:20,643
- Ain't that right, girls?
- Great driving, Bo. Great driving.
915
01:09:20,810 --> 01:09:22,478
Don't kiss my ass.
916
01:09:27,817 --> 01:09:30,820
- Bo, you gotta get us out of here.
- I can't hear you.
917
01:09:31,028 --> 01:09:33,990
- You're being ridiculous, Bo.
- Life is ridiculous, Katie.
918
01:09:34,198 --> 01:09:36,242
I really need a plastic bag now.
919
01:09:42,123 --> 01:09:44,042
What is the purpose of this circle?
920
01:09:47,754 --> 01:09:49,088
How do we get out of here?
921
01:09:49,255 --> 01:09:51,466
- Take this right.
- I'm not listening to you.
922
01:09:51,632 --> 01:09:53,551
Take a right here.
923
01:09:55,178 --> 01:09:56,512
Hell.
924
01:10:06,397 --> 01:10:08,608
You're scaring the girls.
Get back on the road.
925
01:10:08,775 --> 01:10:11,652
- Say sorry for stealing Katie.
- You were never together!
926
01:10:11,819 --> 01:10:13,488
I liked her. You betrayed that.
927
01:10:13,654 --> 01:10:16,324
- I liked her too!
- I liked her first.
928
01:10:17,366 --> 01:10:18,576
Calm down, Bo!
929
01:10:18,743 --> 01:10:20,787
I will calm down
when he says he's sorry!
930
01:10:20,953 --> 01:10:23,039
- Say you're sorry.
- I ain't saying it.
931
01:10:23,206 --> 01:10:25,500
Have you made your peace
with God yet, Luke?
932
01:10:25,666 --> 01:10:29,087
Because you're about to
meet your maker!
933
01:10:29,379 --> 01:10:30,838
- Just say you're sorry!
- No.
934
01:10:31,005 --> 01:10:34,675
We had a good time,
and I'm not gonna apologize for that.
935
01:10:50,733 --> 01:10:53,111
Okay, I'm sorry.
936
01:10:53,277 --> 01:10:55,780
Fine. I'll take Annette.
937
01:10:58,825 --> 01:11:01,202
That was fun.
938
01:11:09,293 --> 01:11:11,754
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
939
01:11:11,921 --> 01:11:13,297
Uncle Jesse, where are you?
940
01:11:13,464 --> 01:11:17,260
There's a hearing at the courthouse.
We gotta get everybody over there now.
941
01:11:17,427 --> 01:11:19,804
Sounds like a mighty fine plan, Lucas.
942
01:11:19,971 --> 01:11:22,515
Only got one wrinkle to it.
943
01:11:22,682 --> 01:11:29,105
You do that, could be very bad
for Jesse and Pauline's health.
944
01:11:29,397 --> 01:11:31,149
Hogg, you lay one hand on them...
945
01:11:31,315 --> 01:11:34,360
...and I'll shove a apple in your mouth
and my foot up your ass.
946
01:11:34,527 --> 01:11:36,195
Well, you bring the Vaseline.
947
01:11:36,863 --> 01:11:38,489
We'll make it a party.
948
01:11:38,656 --> 01:11:42,285
You two boys stay out of Hazzard,
and I mean it this time.
949
01:11:42,452 --> 01:11:45,163
- Where you think they got them?
- I don't know.
950
01:11:45,329 --> 01:11:48,666
- Hogg's never gone this far before.
- You ready to go that far?
951
01:11:49,333 --> 01:11:52,920
Cousin, I'm always ready
to go that far.
952
01:12:06,184 --> 01:12:09,437
What are we doing here?
This is Derek Sheevington's place.
953
01:12:09,604 --> 01:12:13,858
Yeah. Pretty good chance this is gonna
get ugly, so we're gonna drop you here.
954
01:12:14,025 --> 01:12:17,070
He got caught drinking
out of the toilet in the girls' bathroom.
955
01:12:17,236 --> 01:12:20,865
I know, I know. But we're gonna need
you girls to work with him.
956
01:12:21,949 --> 01:12:23,242
Oh, good God.
957
01:12:26,037 --> 01:12:28,706
Why, Katie Johnson, is that you?
958
01:12:28,873 --> 01:12:30,708
Boy, you filled out real nice.
959
01:12:30,875 --> 01:12:33,711
Yeah. You filled out
real nice too, Sheev.
960
01:12:33,878 --> 01:12:37,840
What's going on, Sheev? Looks like
we're gonna need some of those toys.
961
01:12:38,049 --> 01:12:41,886
Leave them two girls here,
I'll give you anything you want.
962
01:12:42,053 --> 01:12:44,555
Come on in. I'll put a stew on.
963
01:12:54,190 --> 01:12:58,069
- Hazzard County Police Department.
- Enos, this is Boss Hogg.
964
01:12:58,236 --> 01:13:00,279
Me and Rosco are over
at the Duke place.
965
01:13:00,446 --> 01:13:04,242
- lf anybody wants us, we'll be here.
- Well, that's mighty consid...
966
01:13:06,744 --> 01:13:11,290
Rosco, I'm going over
and join the governor at the rally.
967
01:13:11,457 --> 01:13:15,253
Do not be late
going to the courthouse.
968
01:13:15,420 --> 01:13:18,715
Boss, how come you told old Enos there
where we was at?
969
01:13:22,093 --> 01:13:24,637
You remember the time
we tried to fix the rodeo?
970
01:13:24,804 --> 01:13:28,516
- Yeah.
- It was Enos that told the Dukes about it.
971
01:13:28,975 --> 01:13:32,478
Then we tried to spread those rumors
about the Mad Cow Disease...
972
01:13:32,645 --> 01:13:36,816
...so my chicken factories
would make a little more profit.
973
01:13:36,983 --> 01:13:39,485
It was Enos that told the Duke boys.
974
01:13:39,652 --> 01:13:42,280
So you want them Duke boys
to come out here?
975
01:14:14,687 --> 01:14:19,859
Enos, where's Boss Hogg and Rosco?
976
01:14:20,026 --> 01:14:22,445
They're at your farm.
977
01:14:22,987 --> 01:14:25,114
Thank you, Enos.
978
01:14:29,827 --> 01:14:32,288
That might be a new record.
979
01:14:38,169 --> 01:14:40,671
What? Okay, thanks, Daisy.
980
01:14:42,632 --> 01:14:44,008
He's at our farm.
981
01:14:46,344 --> 01:14:48,471
Hey. Hey, look, there's Prickett.
982
01:14:49,180 --> 01:14:51,391
- So?
- He can help us.
983
01:14:51,557 --> 01:14:54,394
He don't care about Hazzard.
He's getting paid to be here.
984
01:14:54,560 --> 01:14:56,813
Oh, man, you're wrong.
He's from here.
985
01:15:04,153 --> 01:15:07,115
- You out of your goddamn mind?
- Hey, Billy.
986
01:15:07,281 --> 01:15:11,119
- Boss Hogg's gonna strip-mine Hazzard.
- Just hold your horses.
987
01:15:11,285 --> 01:15:14,497
- Who's stripping?
- He's playing you, man.
988
01:15:14,664 --> 01:15:17,291
- He paid you to come and race...
- Just save your breath.
989
01:15:17,458 --> 01:15:20,294
- I already know.
- You already know?
990
01:15:21,879 --> 01:15:25,425
- But this is your hometown.
- I hate to break this to you, Bo-Bo...
991
01:15:25,591 --> 01:15:28,219
...but this place is a shithole.
992
01:15:28,386 --> 01:15:32,348
If it wasn't a strip mine,
it'd be a strip mall.
993
01:15:34,016 --> 01:15:38,521
Kind of like one of them outlets where
everything's reduced prices and...
994
01:15:38,688 --> 01:15:42,358
Hell, they don't even have an Outback
Steakhouse down here. Am I right?
995
01:15:42,525 --> 01:15:45,403
- Right as pie, Billy.
- Saddle up, Dil.
996
01:15:49,741 --> 01:15:54,078
Look at the bright side, Bo-Bo. At least
you didn't have to race me today.
997
01:15:54,245 --> 01:15:58,082
Because I would've left that little Tonka
toy you drive at the starting stripe.
998
01:15:58,249 --> 01:16:00,585
- Tonka.
- I'm gonna kill him.
999
01:16:00,752 --> 01:16:03,046
Hey, hey, hey!
1000
01:16:03,212 --> 01:16:05,465
- What about Uncle Jesse?
- Wanna ride this stag?
1001
01:16:05,631 --> 01:16:09,010
- You wanna rodeo with this clown?
- Uncle Jesse's old, Luke.
1002
01:16:09,177 --> 01:16:10,845
He's had a good run.
1003
01:16:11,012 --> 01:16:16,642
Besides, if he passes, God have mercy
on his soul, we get the farm.
1004
01:16:19,645 --> 01:16:22,732
I'm just playing with you, man.
Let's go get him.
1005
01:16:34,327 --> 01:16:36,037
They're here.
1006
01:16:42,752 --> 01:16:44,128
Cooter, you ready out there?
1007
01:16:44,295 --> 01:16:47,507
You get Rosco out of there,
Daisy and I'll take care of the rest.
1008
01:16:47,673 --> 01:16:50,760
What do you say we smoke
the varmint out of his hole?
1009
01:16:53,471 --> 01:16:56,808
Hey, Rosco, come on out,
you fat son of a bitch!
1010
01:17:03,147 --> 01:17:05,691
- Cletus, get your butt out there.
- Thank you, Rosco.
1011
01:17:19,914 --> 01:17:22,667
- Let me know if you're gonna puke!
- Oh, you'll know first!
1012
01:17:29,841 --> 01:17:33,219
All right, boys! Y'all come on
out of there with your hands up.
1013
01:17:34,971 --> 01:17:37,223
- Hey, Rosco!
- Hi, Boo-Boo.
1014
01:17:48,067 --> 01:17:50,361
I didn't know we had so many pigs
on the farm.
1015
01:18:02,206 --> 01:18:05,376
- I call this "painting the fence."
- I think you missed a spot.
1016
01:18:09,422 --> 01:18:11,382
Look out, look out!
1017
01:18:11,632 --> 01:18:13,968
- You gonna get us out of here?
- I'm working on it!
1018
01:18:29,942 --> 01:18:32,028
Man, they're hauling ass, pick it up!
1019
01:18:42,121 --> 01:18:44,499
- You gonna make that?
- I'm planning on it.
1020
01:18:47,585 --> 01:18:49,462
Hold on, Luke.
1021
01:18:53,174 --> 01:18:54,926
I'll go in this direction now!
1022
01:19:08,648 --> 01:19:11,442
All right, Jesse. I'm arresting those...
1023
01:19:12,026 --> 01:19:15,113
Jesse? Jesse?
1024
01:19:18,241 --> 01:19:20,243
Courthouse.
1025
01:19:28,626 --> 01:19:32,255
Attention!
Attention, good people of Hazzard!
1026
01:19:32,422 --> 01:19:35,299
Life as we know it is about to end.
1027
01:19:35,466 --> 01:19:40,263
As we speak, dark forces are conspiring
to strip-mine our land.
1028
01:19:40,430 --> 01:19:42,765
Follow me to the courthouse,
and we'll save you!
1029
01:19:44,642 --> 01:19:48,771
Yeah, right, Sheev. Last year
the CIA was brainwashing our cows.
1030
01:19:49,480 --> 01:19:50,857
Get a job, man.
1031
01:19:52,150 --> 01:19:53,985
Hey, Sheev. Sheev.
1032
01:19:54,152 --> 01:19:58,197
- Go back to your spaceship.
- I'm serious. Come on!
1033
01:19:59,323 --> 01:20:00,408
Bye, Sheev.
1034
01:20:14,797 --> 01:20:16,716
It might be good
if you helped out here.
1035
01:20:16,883 --> 01:20:19,010
- Hell, move over, I'll drive.
- No way.
1036
01:20:19,177 --> 01:20:21,054
I'm still hoping to survive this thing.
1037
01:20:23,014 --> 01:20:24,682
Goddamn it. Son of a bitch.
1038
01:20:28,019 --> 01:20:30,980
I like the way you think, cuz.
Yeah, boy!
1039
01:20:49,540 --> 01:20:51,042
Hold on.
1040
01:21:05,973 --> 01:21:08,309
Lost Sheep, Lost Sheep,
are you out there?
1041
01:21:08,935 --> 01:21:10,103
Go for Lost Sheep.
1042
01:21:10,269 --> 01:21:12,480
- Free and clear.
- Good.
1043
01:21:12,647 --> 01:21:15,191
Sheev's making sure everyone
goes to the hearing.
1044
01:21:15,358 --> 01:21:17,110
- I'll see you in town.
- Over and out.
1045
01:21:17,276 --> 01:21:18,778
Let's get the hell out of here.
1046
01:21:24,033 --> 01:21:27,912
- Barn door, coming up.
- Yeah, I see it. Hold on!
1047
01:21:50,393 --> 01:21:52,061
The General!
1048
01:21:52,311 --> 01:21:54,021
Let's head to the courthouse!
1049
01:21:58,317 --> 01:22:01,279
End of the World to Lost Sheep,
End of the World to Lost Sheep.
1050
01:22:01,446 --> 01:22:03,448
- Come in, Lost Sheep.
- What do you got?
1051
01:22:03,614 --> 01:22:05,950
- Everybody headed into town?
- That's a negative.
1052
01:22:06,117 --> 01:22:07,577
Repeat, that's a negative.
1053
01:22:07,785 --> 01:22:10,371
No one listened.
They threw hot dogs at us.
1054
01:22:11,205 --> 01:22:14,042
- Did you tell them about the strip mine?
- Of course I did.
1055
01:22:14,625 --> 01:22:17,754
Were you wearing a armadillo helmet
when you told them about it?
1056
01:22:20,131 --> 01:22:21,424
No.
1057
01:22:22,467 --> 01:22:23,926
Okay, Lost Sheep out.
1058
01:22:24,969 --> 01:22:26,596
No one's heading in to town?
1059
01:22:26,804 --> 01:22:30,767
If we don't get to that courthouse
by noon, there ain't gonna be no town.
1060
01:22:33,644 --> 01:22:37,440
- Well, we still got time for Plan B.
- I like Plan B.
1061
01:22:37,607 --> 01:22:38,900
- Plan B.
- Plan B.
1062
01:22:39,067 --> 01:22:41,277
When you're flying by the seat
of your pants...
1063
01:22:41,444 --> 01:22:44,572
... nothing sounds more official
than a Plan B.
1064
01:22:46,157 --> 01:22:48,993
Don't worry, cuz,
I'll get them to the courthouse.
1065
01:23:13,101 --> 01:23:16,354
This emergency hearing
is now in session.
1066
01:23:17,897 --> 01:23:20,066
Rosco, where is everybody?
1067
01:23:21,526 --> 01:23:22,944
I'm here.
1068
01:23:23,611 --> 01:23:24,946
Well, we have until noon.
1069
01:24:05,945 --> 01:24:10,324
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls...
1070
01:24:10,491 --> 01:24:15,413
...it's my honor today
to introduce my friend...
1071
01:24:15,580 --> 01:24:21,753
...and the friend of everybody in the
greatest state of the United States...
1072
01:24:24,589 --> 01:24:30,136
...the governor, James T. Applewhite!
1073
01:24:30,386 --> 01:24:32,680
Thank you. Thank you.
1074
01:24:34,015 --> 01:24:35,641
Ladies and gentlemen...
1075
01:24:35,808 --> 01:24:40,813
...welcome to the
70th Annual Hazzard Road Rally!
1076
01:24:43,107 --> 01:24:46,194
Drivers, start your engines!
1077
01:24:57,288 --> 01:25:01,667
Just have a couple piña coladas
waiting for me at the finish line, Dil.
1078
01:25:01,834 --> 01:25:03,544
Here comes the heat.
1079
01:25:07,548 --> 01:25:09,258
There they go.
1080
01:25:15,306 --> 01:25:17,266
Come on, come on, come on.
1081
01:25:38,246 --> 01:25:40,164
He's in the race!
1082
01:26:11,529 --> 01:26:14,866
It has been confirmed that the
orange car that entered the race...
1083
01:26:15,033 --> 01:26:17,910
...is in fact the same car
that tore up Atlanta this morning.
1084
01:26:18,077 --> 01:26:22,165
It seems that the "orange-car fugitives"
are from right here in Hazzard County.
1085
01:26:22,373 --> 01:26:25,376
State and local authorities
are trying to subdue the vehicle...
1086
01:26:25,543 --> 01:26:27,170
...known as the General Lee.
1087
01:26:27,336 --> 01:26:31,215
Well, General-Lee speaking, I'd say those
cops are in for a pretty tough time.
1088
01:26:31,382 --> 01:26:33,509
I'm Rick Shakely.
Back to you, Marty.
1089
01:26:39,140 --> 01:26:42,351
This is Boss Hogg.
The Dukes are on the course.
1090
01:26:42,518 --> 01:26:48,441
I want all available vehicles to shut down
the road to the courthouse!
1091
01:26:48,608 --> 01:26:50,985
- We're gonna need to clear a path.
- You got it.
1092
01:26:54,697 --> 01:26:58,993
Hey, Dil, what's the word
on those Céline Dion tickets?
1093
01:26:59,994 --> 01:27:04,082
Well, of course I wanna go backstage.
Don't be dumb.
1094
01:27:56,384 --> 01:27:57,552
Damn.
1095
01:28:10,815 --> 01:28:14,944
Enos. I want you
down to the courthouse. I...
1096
01:28:16,487 --> 01:28:17,947
Someone moved my car.
1097
01:28:19,824 --> 01:28:23,786
Enos, you dipstick,
did somebody move my car?
1098
01:28:24,328 --> 01:28:27,457
Hell, let's just sack up
and shoot the bastard.
1099
01:28:30,001 --> 01:28:32,628
Holy shit!
1100
01:28:33,129 --> 01:28:35,131
Luke, where the hell are you?
1101
01:28:50,772 --> 01:28:53,691
- Good God almighty.
- It's about time!
1102
01:28:53,858 --> 01:28:56,694
- How's the race going?
- How's it look like it's going?
1103
01:29:44,575 --> 01:29:46,119
Why, you dirty son of a bitch.
1104
01:29:49,914 --> 01:29:51,666
Hey, go easy on that.
1105
01:29:51,833 --> 01:29:55,837
For what I'm getting ready to do,
I don't wanna remember a lot of it.
1106
01:30:02,218 --> 01:30:04,011
You know why tornadoes and blonds...
1107
01:30:04,178 --> 01:30:06,222
...are so much alike?
- No.
1108
01:30:06,389 --> 01:30:11,060
At first, there's a lot of sucking
and blowing, and then you lose your house.
1109
01:30:16,190 --> 01:30:19,026
Know what you get when you cross
a donkey with an onion?
1110
01:30:19,193 --> 01:30:20,737
- No.
- You get a piece of ass...
1111
01:30:20,945 --> 01:30:23,865
...that'll bring a tear to your eye.
1112
01:30:28,786 --> 01:30:30,371
You thinking about throwing it?
1113
01:30:30,538 --> 01:30:32,749
Oh, I'll throw it.
I was thinking about pussy.
1114
01:30:40,548 --> 01:30:42,675
You know why divorces
are so expensive?
1115
01:30:42,842 --> 01:30:45,428
- No.
- Because they're worth it.
1116
01:30:48,389 --> 01:30:50,433
Fire in the hole.
1117
01:30:56,355 --> 01:31:00,109
Hey, Bo, take it home.
The coast is clear.
1118
01:31:12,038 --> 01:31:13,915
Here we go again.
1119
01:31:14,082 --> 01:31:16,250
Okay, I'm gonna get those cops
to follow me.
1120
01:31:16,417 --> 01:31:19,253
When I do, tow those cruisers
out of the way.
1121
01:31:19,420 --> 01:31:21,339
Can do.
1122
01:31:35,395 --> 01:31:38,481
Excuse me, officers.
My car broke down up the street there...
1123
01:31:38,648 --> 01:31:40,942
...and I was wondering
if y'all could help me out.
1124
01:31:41,109 --> 01:31:44,028
Why, yes, ma'am.
We'll be happy to.
1125
01:31:44,195 --> 01:31:47,573
- Oh, you're sweet.
- Let's go.
1126
01:31:48,116 --> 01:31:51,661
Halt! Tough shit, honey.
You go fix your own car.
1127
01:31:51,828 --> 01:31:53,413
Ain't no one going anywhere.
1128
01:31:54,372 --> 01:31:56,499
What the hell are you doing?
1129
01:32:06,759 --> 01:32:08,052
Come on, General.
1130
01:32:39,459 --> 01:32:41,794
Hey, Dil, we got a late arrival!
1131
01:32:51,429 --> 01:32:53,139
Hey, Billy!
1132
01:33:03,107 --> 01:33:05,443
You're gonna pay for that, Bo-Bo.
1133
01:33:09,655 --> 01:33:12,116
I've had just about enough of you.
1134
01:33:24,545 --> 01:33:25,838
Here they come.
1135
01:33:41,771 --> 01:33:44,440
Of course I can feel him on my left!
Of course I can!
1136
01:33:49,362 --> 01:33:52,573
- Where is he getting this from?
- Hey, Billy!
1137
01:33:52,740 --> 01:33:54,158
He's playing with me!
1138
01:34:02,083 --> 01:34:04,752
- Come on.
- The General Lee has won the race.
1139
01:34:06,379 --> 01:34:07,964
I want him tested for steroids!
1140
01:34:11,759 --> 01:34:14,804
But Billy Prickett and the General Lee
haven't had quite enough driving.
1141
01:34:15,012 --> 01:34:16,931
They're still going.
1142
01:34:18,391 --> 01:34:20,643
- Come on, y'all!
- We'll interview these guys...
1143
01:34:20,810 --> 01:34:23,896
...if we have to chase after
them ourselves. Tito, start the van.
1144
01:34:24,439 --> 01:34:26,357
Better luck next time, Hogg.
1145
01:34:26,524 --> 01:34:28,067
Let's go, baby.
1146
01:34:35,825 --> 01:34:37,827
Don't go home, really.
1147
01:34:40,038 --> 01:34:42,081
This is Boss Hogg.
1148
01:34:42,248 --> 01:34:47,086
That road better be shut down
tighter than a tick's ass.
1149
01:34:47,754 --> 01:34:50,214
Ten-four. Barricade's in place.
1150
01:34:56,137 --> 01:34:58,264
Rosco, is anyone coming?
1151
01:34:58,848 --> 01:35:02,935
- What, I ain't good enough for you?
- No comment.
1152
01:35:04,395 --> 01:35:06,981
Don't write that down.
Don't write that down.
1153
01:35:07,148 --> 01:35:10,193
- Are they coming?
- Oh, yeah, they're coming.
1154
01:35:10,359 --> 01:35:12,862
We got the whole town headed
to the courthouse.
1155
01:35:14,072 --> 01:35:17,325
- Daisy, we all clear?
- Not exactly.
1156
01:35:17,492 --> 01:35:20,078
"Not exactly" could be a problem.
1157
01:35:20,244 --> 01:35:24,415
Bo? I think we're gonna have
to shoot the moon.
1158
01:35:39,889 --> 01:35:42,392
- What the hell are you doing, Cooter?
- Sorry, officer.
1159
01:35:42,600 --> 01:35:44,560
I heard a pretty lady needed a tow.
1160
01:35:47,688 --> 01:35:50,608
- Cooter.
- I can't hear you.
1161
01:35:50,775 --> 01:35:53,194
Cooter, what the hell are you doing?
1162
01:36:01,244 --> 01:36:03,621
Hey, Billy!
1163
01:36:03,788 --> 01:36:05,873
You think I was born
yesterday, Bo-Bo?
1164
01:36:07,125 --> 01:36:09,127
Oh, shit!
1165
01:36:17,385 --> 01:36:19,095
Holy shit.
1166
01:36:35,570 --> 01:36:38,239
Luke, I made it, but I don't know
how anybody else will.
1167
01:36:38,406 --> 01:36:41,284
That's okay, I got an idea!
1168
01:36:45,121 --> 01:36:46,956
Well, I'll see you on the other side.
1169
01:37:02,180 --> 01:37:04,265
Give me
your goddamn driver's license.
1170
01:37:04,432 --> 01:37:06,184
What license?
1171
01:37:13,024 --> 01:37:15,651
What are we waiting on, judge?
Let's finish this thing.
1172
01:37:15,860 --> 01:37:17,695
Well, I guess it's that time.
1173
01:37:17,862 --> 01:37:20,782
I just can't believe
that nobody wants to object.
1174
01:37:22,200 --> 01:37:25,953
All those in favor
of the strip-mining ordinance?
1175
01:37:27,705 --> 01:37:30,083
- They're gonna strip-mine Hazzard?
- Damn straight.
1176
01:37:30,249 --> 01:37:34,629
- How can they do that?
- Don't worry, we're about to stop them.
1177
01:37:35,797 --> 01:37:37,840
All those opposed?
1178
01:37:39,801 --> 01:37:42,428
What the hell is that?
Who locked that door?
1179
01:37:46,891 --> 01:37:49,477
- Oh, man, that's gonna hurt tomorrow.
- Your Honor!
1180
01:37:49,644 --> 01:37:54,148
I think we got some people who might
like to object to this strip-mining issue.
1181
01:37:54,565 --> 01:37:58,027
Okay, all those opposed
to the strip-mining ordinance?
1182
01:38:01,072 --> 01:38:06,828
This court hereby declares that the
strip-mining ordinance is dismissed.
1183
01:38:12,250 --> 01:38:15,378
Thank you much. Thank you, Boss.
Hi, how y'all?
1184
01:38:15,586 --> 01:38:18,339
She might be a little low on gas.
1185
01:38:18,506 --> 01:38:20,466
Take that.
1186
01:38:21,592 --> 01:38:24,971
Were you really gonna strip-mine
Hazzard, Mr. Hogg?
1187
01:38:25,763 --> 01:38:28,349
I was thinking about it.
1188
01:38:29,976 --> 01:38:31,769
- Out of the way.
- Step aside, please.
1189
01:38:31,936 --> 01:38:33,312
Excuse me, ma'am.
1190
01:38:34,689 --> 01:38:36,983
- Get your hands up.
- People, move back.
1191
01:38:37,150 --> 01:38:38,735
Hands up, hands up.
1192
01:38:38,943 --> 01:38:42,321
Okay. Looks like the party's over.
1193
01:38:42,488 --> 01:38:45,575
Damn right it is.
As long as I'm a county commissioner...
1194
01:38:45,742 --> 01:38:48,619
...for the great state of Georgia,
you two are gonna rot...
1195
01:38:48,786 --> 01:38:51,247
...in the penitentiary. Cuff him.
1196
01:38:52,498 --> 01:38:53,791
Let them go!
1197
01:38:54,125 --> 01:38:55,877
Let them go!
1198
01:38:56,044 --> 01:38:59,422
Excuse me, Rick Shakely. I think
the governor has a statement to make.
1199
01:38:59,589 --> 01:39:01,466
- Well, hot dog.
- I do?
1200
01:39:01,632 --> 01:39:04,093
Yes, sir. You wanted to comment
on how these boys...
1201
01:39:04,302 --> 01:39:06,596
...are the heroes
for saving Hazzard County.
1202
01:39:06,763 --> 01:39:09,766
- That's right, governor!
- Come on, governor!
1203
01:39:11,184 --> 01:39:13,144
Certainly, certainly.
1204
01:39:13,311 --> 01:39:16,898
As you know, I've always been
a great friend to the environment.
1205
01:39:17,356 --> 01:39:20,276
And these boys,
they're environmental heroes!
1206
01:39:22,028 --> 01:39:26,157
And because they're heroes, you're
gonna pardon them for all their crimes?
1207
01:39:29,660 --> 01:39:32,747
Moreover, as governor,
I hereby pardon these boys...
1208
01:39:32,914 --> 01:39:36,876
...of any and all offenses against
the great state of Georgia. Go Dogs!
1209
01:39:40,129 --> 01:39:43,800
Governor? I wanna thank you
for pardoning me too.
1210
01:39:43,966 --> 01:39:47,011
- Pardon you for what?
- For this.
1211
01:39:51,808 --> 01:39:54,310
Oh, what the hell. I pardon him too.
1212
01:39:56,521 --> 01:40:00,108
Here's to Hazzard County's
real favorite sons.
1213
01:40:03,611 --> 01:40:06,656
The day had been saved, as they say.
1214
01:40:06,823 --> 01:40:09,492
Hazzard was put back the way it was.
1215
01:40:09,659 --> 01:40:12,370
Boss Hogg had some explaining to do.
1216
01:40:12,537 --> 01:40:15,039
And the Dukes got their farm back
and celebrated...
1217
01:40:15,206 --> 01:40:18,584
... with a good old-fashioned
pig-picking barbecue.
1218
01:40:18,751 --> 01:40:21,838
Hey, Billy. Daisy, I think
you ought to get up there and sing.
1219
01:40:22,046 --> 01:40:25,758
- Oh, no. I only sing in the shower.
- I'll get the water running.
1220
01:40:25,925 --> 01:40:28,386
- Let's get Uncle Jesse to do it.
- Good idea.
1221
01:40:28,553 --> 01:40:31,889
Pauline, where's Uncle Jesse?
We want him to sing a song.
1222
01:40:32,056 --> 01:40:35,226
I think I might know where he is.
1223
01:40:39,355 --> 01:40:40,606
An apple?
1224
01:40:40,898 --> 01:40:43,735
An apple a day
will keep the doctor away, darling.
1225
01:40:43,901 --> 01:40:46,904
Come on, Jesse,
they want you to sing.
1226
01:40:47,071 --> 01:40:50,908
- Real refreshing.
- They are, aren't they?
1227
01:41:00,835 --> 01:41:02,545
It feels like old times again.
1228
01:41:02,754 --> 01:41:06,424
Yeah, except for now we don't
gotta worry about Bo finding out.
1229
01:41:06,591 --> 01:41:10,094
I swear you're the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
1230
01:41:10,261 --> 01:41:13,097
- You're sweet.
- Yeah.
1231
01:41:13,264 --> 01:41:15,433
I would really like to give you
a bath later.
1232
01:41:15,600 --> 01:41:17,810
Clean you up real nice.
Would you like that?
1233
01:41:17,977 --> 01:41:21,189
- I'd like that.
- Yeah. Yeah.
1234
01:41:21,355 --> 01:41:25,151
Don't worry about her. She's crazy.
1235
01:41:31,616 --> 01:41:33,201
Hey there, Laurie.
1236
01:41:33,368 --> 01:41:36,412
You forgot to make your delivery
this week, Luke Duke.
1237
01:41:36,954 --> 01:41:40,083
- Go, Bo, go.
- Luke, you man-whore.
1238
01:41:40,833 --> 01:41:43,419
You get back here, you bastard!
1239
01:41:43,628 --> 01:41:45,046
See y'all later.
1240
01:41:59,143 --> 01:42:00,770
Okay, this is A-camera marker.
1241
01:42:00,978 --> 01:42:04,065
- Actually, she's my cousin.
- That don't make a difference to me.
1242
01:42:04,232 --> 01:42:08,236
Hell, long as she's your sister.
What the fuck did I just say?
1243
01:42:13,324 --> 01:42:17,161
Don't you know you're not supposed
to wear white after Labor Day?
1244
01:42:20,123 --> 01:42:22,208
- Come on, cut that out.
- Seann.
1245
01:42:22,375 --> 01:42:24,544
Do I need to mark this thing?
1246
01:42:24,711 --> 01:42:26,087
It's called common markers.
1247
01:42:26,254 --> 01:42:28,631
I wonder if Richard Burton
ever had to do that.
1248
01:43:10,715 --> 01:43:14,302
What the fuck?
That's the kiss you guys are having?
1249
01:43:14,469 --> 01:43:17,346
What the fuck?
I'm a total fucking moron.
1250
01:43:17,513 --> 01:43:20,183
- It gets longer and longer, doesn't it?
- Come on.
1251
01:43:20,349 --> 01:43:23,853
How these boys are the heroes for...
Oh, my Lord.
1252
01:43:24,062 --> 01:43:27,482
Every time I look at her titties,
she loses her line.
1253
01:43:29,525 --> 01:43:32,028
- I love it except for the hair in your eyes.
- I know.
1254
01:43:32,195 --> 01:43:34,155
- How's my hair?
- Okay.
1255
01:43:34,322 --> 01:43:36,449
How'd you miss that?
1256
01:43:36,741 --> 01:43:40,036
- Gonna take your hands off the wheel?
- He showed me his balls.
1257
01:43:40,203 --> 01:43:42,997
Sorry. Okay, okay. We'll do it again.
Okay, keep going.
1258
01:43:43,164 --> 01:43:45,083
For your...
1259
01:43:47,001 --> 01:43:49,879
- Don't tell me, it rhymes with "anus."
- Heinous.
1260
01:43:50,046 --> 01:43:52,340
For your heinous crimes.
1261
01:43:52,507 --> 01:43:55,551
Have you been running this
around the clock, Uncle Jesse?
1262
01:44:05,436 --> 01:44:09,357
Did I say "shit" or "hell" that time?
With "ass" or "dick"? I said "hell"?
1263
01:44:11,109 --> 01:44:14,779
Dang it, a little help. A little help.
1264
01:44:16,114 --> 01:44:18,616
- Cut it.
- Cut.
1265
01:44:18,783 --> 01:44:23,913
Come on, be a bro, be a bro.
Get it away! Come on. Get it away!
1266
01:44:24,080 --> 01:44:25,748
- Move over.
- Hey.
1267
01:44:25,957 --> 01:44:29,210
- There weren't any bananas.
- Oh, that's okay.
1268
01:44:30,211 --> 01:44:34,132
- Where's Bo?
- To hell with Bo, it's Boo!
1269
01:44:34,298 --> 01:44:35,758
Lunch!
1270
01:44:41,055 --> 01:44:42,807
Thank you very much.
1271
01:44:44,684 --> 01:44:47,770
Look at me, I'm flying. I'm flying!
1272
01:44:47,979 --> 01:44:51,399
Oh, it's so much fun. I'm okay